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Old 10-15-2016, 08:31 AM   #66
GoBahnsen
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,992
Gallery: GoBahnsen
Stats: Have lost 42 lbs since Nov.19, 2013
WOE: Low carb my way
Start Date: 188 as of March 5, 2014 6'2"
Quote:
Originally Posted by schaferk View Post
good morning! Congrats on that nice loss GB!! You are doing great as I knew you would.

I'm kinda just "hanging" as usual. No cheats, beer, or bad food really but I think I'm still just eating too much and not paying enough attention to what I'm doing. Been exercising a lot - 10 mile walk/run Thurs and then 14 mile bike ride yesterday AND a walk later. But I'm eating too much. Something happened to my eye Thurs night that upset me - blood all in it and I look like the "walking dead". Things like that upset me (now that I'm old) and I just freaked. Trying to get into dr but didn't hear back from them all day yesterday. No excuse but I just ate whatever, didn't pay attention Still waiting for dr to call this morning.
Hi Kris Praying for your eye. Aren't there Urgent care walk in places out there? We have them all over the place. I guess u can google it right?

My DW is at a women's retreat, so I ate super light last night and that after a super low calorie day. Dopped a pound. That's fun. Normally I can plan on a half pound a day when I'm beer free, calorie restricted and throwing in some exercise.

Right now being healthy and alcohol free is not an option. Sadly it has come to that to get me to pay attention to my health. If I am feeling like I can get away with a good time, then look out everyone....here I come.

I think that may be your issue as well Kris. You're in reasonably good health. You do get out and walk and ride. But you don't want to give up the social life or your DH pushes you off the fence you sit on....and you constantly find yourself smack dab in front of a chip or bread bowl, with beer around and buddies.

And it simply has not become worth it to you enough to put your foot down and drop that 30 pounds or whatever that keeps you from being light as a feather.

But if you had the chest discomfort I have and a sore liver like I have and you were trying to be good so that these scary symptoms would go away, then it becomes a no choice kind of thing. But so long as choice is there because you feel like you still have time to roll the dice....then beer, buddies and food win the day too often. Often enough to keep you going no where or worse, right?

Too bad you can't sit down with DH and have a heart to heart on this matter. Or maybe you can

I'm going thru a book called How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich. It's a book that believes we have become the sum total of all our past history. Especially our formative years where our parents or other significant adults (baby sitters, teachers, coaches, relatives, siblings even, etc.) made an "imprint" on us that plays a major role in who we are now.

I have been learning so much about what type of imprint that I carry and my wife carries and how those two imprints most often collide and create confusion and disillusionment in marriage.

You are probably one type and your DH a different type. All of us are predominately a certain type (5 basic negative categories and one positive category). If you understood how your parents raised you and who you have become, you could learn how to correct yourself.

You sound like you have a lot of the "Pleaser'" category in you. Maybe a little "Victim" blended in. Don't be offended, you'd need to understand the definitions. I am mostly a "Vacillator". I have no idea about your DH. But he is not being helpful to your plight with weight loss, it sounds like.

Are you guys really communicating? Are you afraid to talk to him honestly about your desire to get healthy? Does he act uninterested? Does he seem to not listen or have empathy? Does he laugh off your concerns and make light of them? And thus the "pleaser" goes along with everyone, trying to keep everyone happy?

Were your parents somewhat emotionally disconnected and didn't have a lot of time to talk with you about how you were feeling? Did you find yourself trying to do and be what they wanted in hopes of getting emotional connection? Did you find yourself trying to achieve good things, like grades, etc in order to get their praise? Which you got, but still not the emotional connection you longed for?

You might want to order a copy off Amazon and give it a read. My wife and I are going thru it together. She was skeptical at first (like many people are), but then started to realize it made a lot of sense.

We both have opened up to each other in unprecedented ways for the first time in 30 years. The book will get you reflecting together and talking about who you really are at your core person. Perhaps an exercise like this will create a new found compassion for each other and your DH may begin to see his part in not helping you achieve your goals.

Of course it won't be all about how to love and support Kris , but it will be equally as much about how you have compassion and sympathy for your DH and how he received his "imprint" in life and why he may seem detached or distant or un-talkative about things that really matter to you.

The book isn't about blaming the past or parents who were flawed and did the best they could with their limited tools, but rather about discovering why you are who you are and then making positive changes to grow out of a bad imprint.

It is a Christian book, but does not rely on quoting verses and saying "there now....just believe that and everything will be ok." Sorry, but half the Christians are getting divorced too or they settle for way too less in their marriage. It's a good read. I hope you order it. You may just find out why you stay in the same old rut.
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