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Old 11-18-2017, 11:51 AM   #991
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How many milligrams of mel did you take? Standard is 3mg per capsule. Keep upping the dose until you sleep. Some people take 5 or 6 caps a night. I was taking 4. But the Indica is stronger than melatonin, so I've been using two caps a night. Don't need as much.
I'll have to ask my friend. He gave me some of his since I've been having so much trouble sleeping. The 2 nights before I tried taking allergy medicines and then last night tried his melatonin. It was in gummy bears and I took two.
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Old 11-18-2017, 07:03 PM   #992
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I'll have to ask my friend. He gave me some of his since I've been having so much trouble sleeping. The 2 nights before I tried taking allergy medicines and then last night tried his melatonin. It was in gummy bears and I took two.
Ok. Probably 6 grams then. But until you know what your taking, maybe just up in one tonight.

You can't really hurt yourself with it. Those who take large amounts sometimes report more vivid and real like dreams.

Well my DW went to a Thanksgiving party where lots of my wealthy clients get together this time of year. I was there last year and didn't like getting so much attention due to the new diagnosis.

I was planning on going anyway, but my days just aren't about going out anymore. It's all about management of the disease now.

Oh, I saw the Chinese guy. Turns out he was Vietnamese. Really hard to understand his English. He checked my pulse on both wrists and said I had cancer in the kidneys and liver. He looked troubled. Then he went on about the medicine he "knows" I will need.

Problem is it comes from China and might not be available. Could cost thousands if it is. I'm very leery to say the least. His supposed correct guess about cancer location could have come from my wife telling over the phone, that it had spread everywhere.
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Old 11-20-2017, 03:55 AM   #993
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Good Morning! I can understand why you might want to avoid a party where everybody knows what you are battling and will be commenting about it. Even tho they mean well, nobody knows what to say and can't truly imagine what you are going through. At least I can't. Hopefully we can just help each other in here somehow with our quick daily reports and hello's

I didn't get on scale yet today. I suspect a bounce up as yesterday had a pretty huge bar BQ sandwhich for dinner. Swapped my sides, baked bns & pot salad for cole slaw & broccoli tho. Did good LC all day Sat, never left the house. But after tracking & logging last night's dinner I found it was really high in carbs with the sugary barBQ sauce & a few bites of the awesome bun. I still do look at those kinds of things as "really good" but am also getting use to trading out things, ordering better, cutting number of beers, etc. Maybe that is the happy medium I'll end up with. I'm kinda getting to LIKE the broccoli and be glad I swapped it for the baked beans or fries.

Got 2 boys to babysit today and we might make cookies together so may not end well!
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Old 11-20-2017, 08:16 AM   #994
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Good Morning! I can understand why you might want to avoid a party where everybody knows what you are battling and will be commenting about it. Even tho they mean well, nobody knows what to say and can't truly imagine what you are going through. At least I can't. Hopefully we can just help each other in here somehow with our quick daily reports and hello's

I didn't get on scale yet today. I suspect a bounce up as yesterday had a pretty huge bar BQ sandwhich for dinner. Swapped my sides, baked bns & pot salad for cole slaw & broccoli tho. Did good LC all day Sat, never left the house. But after tracking & logging last night's dinner I found it was really high in carbs with the sugary barBQ sauce & a few bites of the awesome bun. I still do look at those kinds of things as "really good" but am also getting use to trading out things, ordering better, cutting number of beers, etc. Maybe that is the happy medium I'll end up with. I'm kinda getting to LIKE the broccoli and be glad I swapped it for the baked beans or fries.

Got 2 boys to babysit today and we might make cookies together so may not end well!
Hi Kris Sounds like you're growing. Coming out of the fog. Keep it up. Don't eat those cookies.

I know the people mean well, it just gets like the person whose leg is in a cast. At first you don't mind telling the story. But yeah, they mean well and they care about me. I'd just rather be normal and having a glass of wine like everyone else.

I had a little organic beef last night. Ground beef with taco kind of spices. Sure tasted good. It was the first normal kind of food in weeks. Funny how amazing things taste after you have done time in food jail.

I managed the indigestion from my small dinner with my liquid peppermint, etc drops. So nice to not have to rely on pharma drugs for every problem that confronts the human body. The peppermint it's self is another cancer fighter.

I haven't been posting my weight because it stays the same as my stomach swells with fibrous tumors. I'm shrinking as my tumors grow. These last ditch efforts MUST work or I'm in for some kind of short road to heaven.

I slept well last night. It feels so good to lay down. Cancer is like the flu. During the day it's tolerable, but at night you start to feel like you just don't want anymore awake time. So when I hit the bed with the heating pad already hot, I just melt. Ahhhhh.....feels so good.

But yeah, it was a really good night for me. It will be so great if this cancer halts it's progress and I get some privileges back. Like being able to sleep in my old favorite positions.

Back to the clinic today for another IV bag. It's expensive, but I had to pull the trigger on something bigger than mere oral remedies.
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Old 11-21-2017, 06:41 AM   #995
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Yes, out of the fog a little bit, trying hard at least. Didn't eat any cookies Been avoiding alcohol to try and get better sleep. Last night 5 hours. Can't really tell what is helping and what isn't yet.

We have Thanksgiving plans Wed night, Thurs & Friday so lots of eating for me, as with everyone I suppose. It's a nice family time of the year. The weather here got disappointing very early, I've had to quit walking outside and with more babysitting not getting any exercise to speak of. Maybe get to the mall tonight to walk around there but it's not much fun. We have already decided to go to Daytona for 8 weeks next Winter (2019) when the babysitting is over.

Today more chicken soup. Had a really low calorie day yesterday, been kinda doing every other day really low. Can't seem to get below 143 tho. I'm still shooting for 130 but stuck. I expect progress to be slow around the holidays even tho I've been pretty good. Lots of Intermittent fasting and dinner skipping!!
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Old 11-21-2017, 07:57 AM   #996
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Yes, out of the fog a little bit, trying hard at least. Didn't eat any cookies Been avoiding alcohol to try and get better sleep. Last night 5 hours. Can't really tell what is helping and what isn't yet.

We have Thanksgiving plans Wed night, Thurs & Friday so lots of eating for me, as with everyone I suppose. It's a nice family time of the year. The weather here got disappointing very early, I've had to quit walking outside and with more babysitting not getting any exercise to speak of. Maybe get to the mall tonight to walk around there but it's not much fun. We have already decided to go to Daytona for 8 weeks next Winter (2019) when the babysitting is over.

Today more chicken soup. Had a really low calorie day yesterday, been kinda doing every other day really low. Can't seem to get below 143 tho. I'm still shooting for 130 but stuck. I expect progress to be slow around the holidays even tho I've been pretty good. Lots of Intermittent fasting and dinner skipping!!
Wow, you avoided the cookies. How did that make you feel as you made them, smelled them bake, etc.....and then said NO to them?

That's a real success story Kris!!! Sounds like you gotta plan.

You said that maybe you'd walk around the mall, but it's not much fun. I'm becoming more fascinated by how we define "fun." One person's fun is another person's dull time.

A friend of mine wants to visit me, so I suggested the best way is to visit me at the clinic while i'm sitting there trying to pass the time for the IV to frip thru.

He said he guessed he could do that, but it didn't sound like much fun. Guys want to get together for lunch or over beer, but just straight up apparently isn't fun.

So fun seems to involve pleasure. When pizza hits the mouth and the pleasure center of the brain is wowed by the new input, we say that we are having fun.

I have had to do a lot of learning of late about how to get thru a day without much fun. It's a weird discipline.

What about truth? We might not normally think about truth much. We sort of assume that we know whats true about life. The ancients thought the world was flat and that various gods and goddesses controlled the weather, etc.

We now know the truth about the earth being round and that the weather is controlled by various conditions arising that don't require weather gods to manage. Some of us are pretty confident that Science has delivered us from superstitions and the pursuit of truth has been dealt with for us.

So instead of valuing that which is true, we value that which is fun. Or at least, it can be out of balance. Jesus said "you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free."

Over and over again during His earthly ministry, He would say "I tell you the truth..." Then He'd declare to them something that was true about God and or life that they were ignorant of. The three years that He and the disciples were together was little more than a grand pursuit of truth.

The question arises: was that pursuit fun? Or is fun to frivolous a term to be applied in that context? With all my fun things to do in life being challenged by the cancer, I am forced to look deeper into the meaning of life. Why are we here? To do what?

Sports players will say before a big game "we're just gonna go out there and play hard and have fun." Perhaps we have made the pursuit of fun too important? We get devastated when we can't find anything fun to do.
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Old 11-22-2017, 08:42 AM   #997
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Happy almost Thanksgiving Kris and PAC Where is PAC anyway? Is she posting elsewhere? Hope she didn't fall over dead.

October 22: --------------------------239.2
October 23: --------------------------238.7

October 28----------------------------237.3
October 29----------------------------236.2
October 30----------------------------237.2

November 5---------------------------232.7
November 6---------------------------233.2

November 10----------------------- --232.1
November 11--------------------------232.1
November 12--------------------------233.8
November 15--------------------------230.6
November 22--------------------------229.0

Well what do ya know? Finally 230 is broken.

Yesterday my wife and I talked to an integrative oncology nurse with expertise in the field of cannabis medicine. Cost $175 for an hour consultation. She gave us an extra 45 mins and would have given more.

Wow, what a difference between her and my doctor at the clinic. This woman was so well informed and helpful. The clinic runs more like a business instead of a staff of people who really want to see you get better.

That's why they pushed that super expensive cannabis vitamin on us. It's about products and making money. Which isn't wrong in and of it's self, unless information is withheld from the patient because the clinic doesn't sell it. Know what I mean?

And after the call last night, I suddenly realized that the alternative world of medicine probably goes too far in vilifying conventional medicine. This nurse (Kristen), spends her research on things that really work, not things that are more of a carpet bomb approach.

My wife and I both began to see that we were just playing the fools once more by getting salicinium IVs. Kristen said she hasn't seen any evidence that it works. She said she wouldn't waste her money on it.

Being a cannabis expert (she doesn't sell any products--so unlike the clinic, she is just trying to help us on a consulting level) it looks like one of my greatest hopes for improvement is lots of cannabis.

Not smoking so much as ingesting the various forms of cannabis extract as medicine, that given high enough doses can be effective against my cancer.

So that's where our money will go next. Gonna up the cannabis. Too bad it doesn't provide a good buzz.

I cancelled the IV today. It was just a $12,000 grasping at straws kind of thing. Probably would have lowered my Nagalase numbers, but then we'd be informed that another round of IVs is required. Best we cut and ran after 3 IV's.

Hope you have a nice Thanksgiving.
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Old 11-23-2017, 07:26 AM   #998
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Happy Thanksgiving Kris and PAC.!!

Hope you guys have a fun and thankful day.
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Old 11-24-2017, 07:12 AM   #999
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Where did everyone go? Had a nice little TG dinner with the family. I had all that I wanted and had no problems with it. Yay!

How about you Kris? Eat too much?

Slept pretty good. Don't like the THC hangover, but it's my main protocol now, so gotta keep loading up until just possibly we find out it's effective. Plus I go see an Oncologist finally.
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Old 11-24-2017, 06:17 PM   #1000
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Hello Hello My internet was out for a while. Glad you hung in there and still looked for me. Rebooted and finally back on.

Had thanksgiving a few times. Three big meals actually. Finally the last one today with the Grandkids. It was all overwhelming. Too much for us. So glad to just get to the bar tonight. Didn't eat again there but had 4 beers. I'm just so tired of trying to please everyone. It's a chore. I hate it. Lots of my life I don't like, the not sleeping, sore feet, not being able to do what I want, physically, socially. Just a big pain in the @$$. OK sorry. I know other people have worse problems than me.

I hope GB that you and your wife had a nice thanksgiving. And anybody else still reading along. Holidays are just not good for me. I apologize for the rant. GB I am glad that you got to eat all you wanted and no problems. I ate plenty 3 times Food was so good, and everything was fine.

It's over now and I'm so glad. Of course the same drama at Christmas so not looking forward to that. Divorce destroys holidays. I hate it for my kids and for me. But life goes on. Perhaps I'm just rambling.

We have 2 days now with no babysitting so gotta figure out something to do??? Nothing we really want to do??? We stay home a lot and this weather is not good for doing anything much at all. The cold dark Winter is here with a vengeance, altho today was not too terribly bad considering it's November in the Midwest. I walked outside without a coat I just don't like the holidays. Its starting now and only will get worse.

GB Hope you hang in there. You are strong. I for you still
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Old 11-25-2017, 07:28 AM   #1001
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Hi Kris Nice Rant The Holidays. As they say, they sure do come around fast don't they? Thnx for prayers.

As to sleeping, my nurse/doctor has me on 15mg's of melatonin, but more for it's anti-cancer properties. They did a survey of women born blind and found almost no incidence of cancer.

The conclusion was the heavy amount of melatonin produced by the human body in the presence of no light. Yes, the darker your room at night, the more u produce the hormone yourself. But older folks don't make much. Thus the insomnia.

There are other herbs and plant constituents that are helpful for sleep as well. And they won't just help you sleep, but also give you important nutrients for other bodily functions.

My old Long Beach buddy, Jack, invited me out on his new/used cabin cruiser boat yesterday. I went with hopes of yet one more chance to see his eyes open to his need for Jesus.

But he's so self-sufficient and independent and not being raised in a house of faith, he just sees no need for forgiveness.

It was a perfect day here yesterday. Out on the water in 85 degtee warmth, we cruised past the Queen Mary and on into some restaurants on the water. Stopped at a Mexican place and I had chips, salsa and beer. Soooo good.

At the end of the day Jack and I sat on the back of his 33 foot boat as lots of women went past us on paddle boards. I was surprised how much friendlier they are in that setting.

In times past I sure would have envied Jack's life. But from the time he first showed me all the boats features, to the seeming great advantage of being around lots of friendly women on the waterfront, I felt zero sense of envy.

In fact, it's a life like that ....that I proved to myself for years, that I can't handle it. I can't live that way and keep a proper balance with my spiritual life.

If my wife is giving me a hard time, where will I be? On his boat with a beer, smiling and being friendly with the passing ladies. See what I mean? Some guys can handle it. My guess is that not many handle it well before God.
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Old 11-26-2017, 01:13 PM   #1002
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Sunday already!! Weekends go fast, even if I'm staying home. Did stay home quite a bit, got a walk in both days as it was halfway nice out, lower 50s. Tomorrow should be good again and then bad news coming!!

Sounds like you had a fantastic day, 85 degrees and on a boat. We toured the Queen Mary a couple of times, like tourists do!! But it really sounded fun what you did. Glad you got to get out a little.

15 mg of melatonin, that's a lot!! Hope it helps you. I took one pill and 2 gummies last night and slept almost 6 hours, more than in a long long time. Also didn't eat dinner or drink alcohol so not sure what helped?? I'll keep trying things tho.

I haven't lost the weight yet from all the Thanksgiving meals. Wow it adds up fast. I'll have to have a couple of really low 500 cal days this week and no drinking. I can do that. Just too much good food around lately, even tho I would not say I "pigged out" terribly. Nothing yet today, but going out tonight with folks we have not been out with for several weeks. I was getting good at saying "NO". I'll have a couple of beers and a few chips.

Awesome you are in under 230
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Old 11-27-2017, 07:48 AM   #1003
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Sunday already!! Weekends go fast, even if I'm staying home. Did stay home quite a bit, got a walk in both days as it was halfway nice out, lower 50s. Tomorrow should be good again and then bad news coming!!

Sounds like you had a fantastic day, 85 degrees and on a boat. We toured the Queen Mary a couple of times, like tourists do!! But it really sounded fun what you did. Glad you got to get out a little.

15 mg of melatonin, that's a lot!! Hope it helps you. I took one pill and 2 gummies last night and slept almost 6 hours, more than in a long long time. Also didn't eat dinner or drink alcohol so not sure what helped?? I'll keep trying things tho.

I haven't lost the weight yet from all the Thanksgiving meals. Wow it adds up fast. I'll have to have a couple of really low 500 cal days this week and no drinking. I can do that. Just too much good food around lately, even tho I would not say I "pigged out" terribly. Nothing yet today, but going out tonight with folks we have not been out with for several weeks. I was getting good at saying "NO". I'll have a couple of beers and a few chips.

Awesome you are in under 230
Oh good Kris some weather you can get outside in. Sounds like you're still putting up the fight.

I feel like quitting myself. I'm not, I just feel like it. It's a weird life waiting for a disease to take you down. But it's not like I wasn't waiting for disease to take me down when I was letting myself become huge.

I mean think about it, we know what helps us live longer and what doesn't. But we choose a ton of what doesn't help us live better physically. Thus, aren't we just sitting around waiting to die?

If we only chose wise options we could be said to be sitting around waiting to live longer and better. But poor choices show we don't care that much about life or at the least, we can't handle life well without consuming a certain amount of bad things.

That's me. I knew I was asking for trouble but I didn't want to stop. What's better, to live to be 60 having enjoyed your life with lots of beer and good times.....or to live to 90 because you learned to constantly say no? (Not that lots of beer automatically results in a better life)

This is something we all wrestle with. Do we really want to live to be 90? Yes and no. Yes, if we are feeling good. No, if the quality of life is terrible.

I can say this for myself, I don't like life without beer. For those who never discovered it, like PAC, they don't know what they're missing, so it's nothing for them to continue avoiding beer and other alcohol.

I wonder if there will be beer in heaven? Obviously not canned or bottled, but some kind of tap that is always on and free for all to enjoy. We know there's gonna be wine, because Jesus said He wouldn't drink of the vine (wine) again until it was with His followers in His Father's house.

Not that we will be like we are now, all full of appetites and seeking satisfaction constantly. Because in heaven we won't be nagged by bodily desires. To have a beer in heaven, would be for the pure enjoyment of the best beer in the universe, but you would never get full or drunk, nor would you have to find a bathroom.

It's hard to imagine the place. No sickness, no sorrow. Peace with God and everyone who arrives there. No more favorite friends. No more envy or jealousy. Love over-seeing everything. Probably won't even want a beer at all. But if ya did, I feel confident that God has it covered.
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Old 11-28-2017, 05:02 AM   #1004
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Good morning! Yes I agree that Heaven will be a wonderful place. I hope we all get there someday

Yeah, I'm still tryin to fight but I guess you could say things are on hold yet again. Weather has been OK so I've still been getting outside to walk but heel hurts so much it's not any kind of 'workout'. I've just been pushing the baby in the stroller as much as I can, knowing those days are numbered and he'll be stuck inside for the Winter.

I say things are on hold because too many Thanksgiving dinners this year. I am so thankful for all of my friends and family but I was doing pretty good, on downward trend and then just too much eating for the last week. Still have some leftover turkey & other goodies but most of it is gone
My weight is just the same - up and down the same 5 or 10 pound for the last decade. Sometimes don't know why I try.
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Old 11-28-2017, 07:14 AM   #1005
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Good morning! Yes I agree that Heaven will be a wonderful place. I hope we all get there someday

Yeah, I'm still tryin to fight but I guess you could say things are on hold yet again. Weather has been OK so I've still been getting outside to walk but heel hurts so much it's not any kind of 'workout'. I've just been pushing the baby in the stroller as much as I can, knowing those days are numbered and he'll be stuck inside for the Winter.

I say things are on hold because too many Thanksgiving dinners this year. I am so thankful for all of my friends and family but I was doing pretty good, on downward trend and then just too much eating for the last week. Still have some leftover turkey & other goodies but most of it is gone
My weight is just the same - up and down the same 5 or 10 pound for the last decade. Sometimes don't know why I try.
Yeah Kris, why do we even try? If I could do things over again, I'd be all about preventing cancer from getting a start in my body.

At least have certain players in play. I wouldn't want to hold to a strict cancer diet. And I'd still want my ales here and there, but I have educated myself on the disease to where I know prevention is key.

So there's one BIG reason to care Kris. But you need to research it. Google how to prevent cancer. Or hire our gal from Hawaii for a consultation. She'd take all your recent medical work, get your gene type and put you on a plan to great health and make sure you never get the cancer diagnosis.

Wow, you'd be so smart to do that. Too many people think it's about early detection. That helps, but not as much as prevention. But don't feel any pressure from me.

We have been watching old Little House on the Prairie shows of late. I used to watch those in my 20's when the show was live. As I watched them I realized the countryside is so much like our area in Santa Barbara.

I started to wonder if that's why I fell so hard for the real thing when I found it. Everyone loves golden covered hills with big oaks and country barns. So many car advertisements look like they are filmed in our Santa Barbara place. What's the message? Own this car and you'll find yourself driving thru storybook land.
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Old 11-29-2017, 08:01 AM   #1006
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Walked outside early this morning at 28 degrees, bundled up. Baby took a nap so figured I'd better do it then. Not pleasant but I made it 55 minutes Foot still hurting but I've been wearing my inserts every step. I've been told it takes a really long time to heal plantar fisciasus (sp).

You have educated yourself very well. I try to learn from you, do what I can to prevent cancer. I know I eat a lot less sugar these days, but still too many calories over all. I'm still up 3 pounds due to Thanksgiving meals. Walking every day and watching it tho so slowly getting back down to sig weight. Vicious circle.
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Old 11-29-2017, 09:39 AM   #1007
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Walked outside early this morning at 28 degrees, bundled up. Baby took a nap so figured I'd better do it then. Not pleasant but I made it 55 minutes Foot still hurting but I've been wearing my inserts every step. I've been told it takes a really long time to heal plantar fisciasus (sp).

You have educated yourself very well. I try to learn from you, do what I can to prevent cancer. I know I eat a lot less sugar these days, but still too many calories over all. I'm still up 3 pounds due to Thanksgiving meals. Walking every day and watching it tho so slowly getting back down to sig weight. Vicious circle.
Hi Kris Yeah, that old plantar f took me right out of the peak of my running days.

Mine was in my heel. It had been running long and fast for a couple of years. Shattering my personal bests along the way. I actually loved the challenge of it all.

Then one day the heel was sore, I kept running, and pop....something gave way and I was instantly brought to a halt. Months of no running caused me to lose everything I worked so hard for.

It was a couple of years before I tried light jogging again. Lots of bike riding tho.
I'm starting to enter the nausea phase of cancer. Yesterday I went to lay down late morning for a nap. After about 20 minutes of peace and safety, I felt strangely queezy. I thought to just ride it out for a few mins, but suddenly I knew I should head for the bathroom , just in case.

I no sooner walked into the bathroom when my mouth popped open and I destroyed the whole toilet and surrounding areas with a fierce blast of stomach contents. It happened so fast!!

I hate throwing up and can't remember how many decades it had been since the last time, but this time it was out and over with so fast, and I actually felt pretty ok immediately. Nothing like the stomach flu.

This morning I am cautiously trying to get what I need into and thru the stomach, without loading up on too many things at once. I always wondered what cancer felt like after metastasis. What's this pain people talk about being in?

Again, so far for me, it's been like getting a kind of flu. And then there's the pressure from the tumors. Lots of stomach acid present. Indigestion. You keep adapting to it all. If you are having a moment of relative normalcy, you really take it in and appreciate the reprieve.

Isn't it interesting? The old "you don't know what you got till it's gone?" I watch Charles and Caroline Ingalls in a scene where they're all cozy in bed. They turn onto their sides and with smiling faces say goodnight. They can't appreciate how good that feels, in the same way I can now.

Since I can't sleep on my side anymore, I see it as a much bigger prize to possess than those who have never had the privilege taken away.
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Old 11-30-2017, 03:49 AM   #1008
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OMG GB So awful what you are going thru. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I love that you share what you are going thru with me as I've not been close to anyone going thru what you are. It's educational for me and I am always, always here to listen when you want to share. Is it just the cancer taking hold of you? Or meds giving you nausea? Will you be having chemo or something like that? I for relief for you. I agree, that throwing up is so awful. The threat of it is what keeps me from drinking more alcohol I think

Well the exact same thing is happening to me with the heel that happened to you. I don't think we ever discussed what you went thru with it before. Same exact thing - I'm to the point of limping around and not putting any weight on my right heel now. I've tried the rolling, massaging, resting, ice, I think it just takes a LONG time to heal. I figure when I have the bunion surgery later when I'm done babysitting the baby I will be totally off the foot for awhile so maybe it will heal then?? It's the same foot. I guess there is just nothing you can do for the planter F thing but stay off of it for a LONG LONG time. My dr didn't offer anything else, maybe cortisone shot but he said you cant just keep getting them over and over. Next week bitter cold hits us so I'll start just riding the exercise bike and not walking much on the bad heel. It's always something.

Mamogram today!! Oh boy!! I had a scare of breast cancer once a few years ago. Was even on the table prepped for surgery to remove the cyst to see if cancerous and they couldn't find it. hmmmm... Well good news anyway.
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Old 11-30-2017, 07:44 AM   #1009
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OMG GB So awful what you are going thru. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I love that you share what you are going thru with me as I've not been close to anyone going thru what you are. It's educational for me and I am always, always here to listen when you want to share. Is it just the cancer taking hold of you? Or meds giving you nausea? Will you be having chemo or something like that? I for relief for you. I agree, that throwing up is so awful. The threat of it is what keeps me from drinking more alcohol I think

Well the exact same thing is happening to me with the heel that happened to you. I don't think we ever discussed what you went thru with it before. Same exact thing - I'm to the point of limping around and not putting any weight on my right heel now. I've tried the rolling, massaging, resting, ice, I think it just takes a LONG time to heal. I figure when I have the bunion surgery later when I'm done babysitting the baby I will be totally off the foot for awhile so maybe it will heal then?? It's the same foot. I guess there is just nothing you can do for the planter F thing but stay off of it for a LONG LONG time. My dr didn't offer anything else, maybe cortisone shot but he said you cant just keep getting them over and over. Next week bitter cold hits us so I'll start just riding the exercise bike and not walking much on the bad heel. It's always something.

Mamogram today!! Oh boy!! I had a scare of breast cancer once a few years ago. Was even on the table prepped for surgery to remove the cyst to see if cancerous and they couldn't find it. hmmmm... Well good news anyway.
Hi Kris Sorry to hear you had a cancer scare a while back. Glad it turned into nothing for ya.

From my memory of research on plantar F, the injury is a tiny crack in the membrane that runs along the whole foot. Usually from old shoes, lack of stretching, running on hard surfaces (my preference).

Think of healing it by giving it what it needs nutritionally. It's cracking. It needs to be made flexible again. Fish oil. Google sups for plantar Fasciitis. I just looked. Saw essential oils mentioned among other things. Shoes are huge. Put them on right when you get out of bed.

I didn't care that much when I lost running, because the bike was an equal challenge. As long as I could walk, I was good. Running tends to catch up to most runners and injury is the early ending. God didn't make us to run on concrete for recreation.

Gonna try going out to a job today for the first time since November 10th. I haven't taken time off like that since I started my business 40 years ago.

Oddly, I am actually feeling better yesterday and this morning. So many prayers going up for me. I'll keep taking my cannabis. I'm about to start an indoor grow. I have for female clones to grow indoors until about February, where I'll stick em outside and let em flower.

The nice thing is I can trim and eat leaves along the way. Put em in a smoothie. Get some THCa and other helpful constituents of cannabis. And in that form it doesn't make you high.

I can't believe the clinic sold me 30 capsules of raw cannabis flowers and fruit powders together for $500!!!! That is the most expensive tiny bit of cannabis flower in the whole world.

Well I hope your foot heals up quickly and you're back out there walking around soon.
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Old 12-01-2017, 06:06 AM   #1010
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I am glad you are feeling a little better GB. You probably will have good days and bad days. I hope more good than bad

Thanks for the advice on the foot. I've been reading up on it and never going barefoot (which I totally DID all the time before). Plus I've been wearing my inserts with the arch & gel pad heel. I've still been walking, just carefully stepping on the right foot and going slow. I know the walking will be over next week and I'll be on the exercise recumbent bike for the next 3 months, Winter here. I was glad to hear that you could still bike and it not bother your Plantar F. I put ice on it yesterday after the walking. I'm thinking it is just a little bit better today

I haven't weighed in a few days but IAW my jeans I am guessing I'm about the same. Still hanging on to the extra Thanksgiving weight I'm sure. I've just kinda been eating whatever, but no pig outs and decent choices. Just not logging it all and not watching every little carb like I should. Just not been in the best of moods lately I guess.

I hope today is another good day for you
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Old 12-01-2017, 07:31 AM   #1011
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I am glad you are feeling a little better GB. You probably will have good days and bad days. I hope more good than bad

Thanks for the advice on the foot. I've been reading up on it and never going barefoot (which I totally DID all the time before). Plus I've been wearing my inserts with the arch & gel pad heel. I've still been walking, just carefully stepping on the right foot and going slow. I know the walking will be over next week and I'll be on the exercise recumbent bike for the next 3 months, Winter here. I was glad to hear that you could still bike and it not bother your Plantar F. I put ice on it yesterday after the walking. I'm thinking it is just a little bit better today

I haven't weighed in a few days but IAW my jeans I am guessing I'm about the same. Still hanging on to the extra Thanksgiving weight I'm sure. I've just kinda been eating whatever, but no pig outs and decent choices. Just not logging it all and not watching every little carb like I should. Just not been in the best of moods lately I guess.

I hope today is another good day for you
Thanks Kris Yep, good days and not so good. Yesterday I went out to a job with my DW. She's a good little helper. I felt tired a lot.

I'm constantly a little winded unless I sit down. My working days are almost over unless.....God heals me.

Life is full of small victories now. My DW made a bone broth out of the organic turkey bones. I had her put some potatoes and chicken, celery and carrots in it and I liked it. And I held it down well. A small victory.

Just feeling pretty ok and normal for an hour is a small victory. You learn to be thankful for every bit of comfort God gives you.

I'm so glad I never had to go thru the "why me God?" kind of a thing. As humans we view sickness as only negative. But God sees it as a tool, whereby He can do a lot more work in a short period of time. A good work. Thus I know it's proper for me to be thankful.

And you know you are really improving when you thank God in the midst of a bout of pain. Thank Him for it and at the same time ask Him for relief. This is what maturing in faith looks like.

And no worries for those who find themselves complaining at the first, it's normal. God understands our complaint. But He doesn't want to leave us in that place.

So anyway, I'm not worrying too much about what I'm eating. Like toast for example. We have a good organic, sprouted grain kind. So there I am eating chicken soup and toast for dinner. Who can blame a sick person for that?

Well I hope your foot keeps improving Kris. Good thing the Winter is almost here huh? A time of recovery.
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Old 12-02-2017, 05:46 PM   #1012
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Hi GB So sorry you are feeling like your working days are numbered. I'm sure that is a sad feeling for you. I still for you but I understand that you are feeling a sadness now. Wish there was something I could do or say but I know there just is not

Nothing going on with me, same old stuff. Went out to the local bar tonight, tried to hold back, didn't eat but had a few ales. Earlier today was the grandson's birthday party, pizza, cake. etc. So then I skipped dinner and just had the beer. Sometimes life is just "sad" even if things are going "OK" for us, it still can be sad Guess I won't say any more.
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Old 12-03-2017, 07:07 AM   #1013
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Hi GB So sorry you are feeling like your working days are numbered. I'm sure that is a sad feeling for you. I still for you but I understand that you are feeling a sadness now. Wish there was something I could do or say but I know there just is not

Nothing going on with me, same old stuff. Went out to the local bar tonight, tried to hold back, didn't eat but had a few ales. Earlier today was the grandson's birthday party, pizza, cake. etc. So then I skipped dinner and just had the beer. Sometimes life is just "sad" even if things are going "OK" for us, it still can be sad Guess I won't say any more.
Hi Kris Yes, life has it's sad moments. But it's only because we experience the sad, that we can more fully appreciate the happy times, when we are in them. You know what I mean? Perspective. Contrasts.




October 22: --------------------------239.2
October 23: --------------------------238.7

October 28----------------------------237.3
October 29----------------------------236.2
October 30----------------------------237.2

November 5---------------------------232.7
November 6---------------------------233.2

November 10----------------------- --232.1
November 11--------------------------232.1
November 12--------------------------233.8
November 15--------------------------230.6
November 22--------------------------229.0
December 3---------------------------228.4

This doesn't really mean much. My arms are getting skinny. My abdomen is swollen with tumors. I might weigh 10 pounds less if they took out all the tumors.

A friend of mine wanted to take me out to lunch. We ended up at the same local hipster style pizza place. The pizza was really good, but my stomach can't be trusted ever since i destroyed our bathroom the other day.

So as I try to enjoy the experience, I also get these signals, at times, that things might not be ok. So until I can get my stomach more stable, I think I'm done going out for lunch.

I would be so mortified if i had to run outside the restaurant and spray the local fauna. Or worse yet, I don't make it outside.

So i had the pizza and an ale and went home and concentrated on keeping it all inside. At dinner time I was still working on creating a mellow stomach and decided to not load some dinner in.

Sad times, but God promises good times to all those who love Him and look for His appearing.
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Old 12-03-2017, 07:34 AM   #1014
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Up early Sunday morning here. Two more "decent" days weather wise here then the terrible hits. We sit here trying to think of something to do to enjoy the last two half-ass nice days and we can't come up with anything??? That is kinda sad in itself There's a bunch of local "Christmas Walks" going on around and tree lighting ceremonies but we just can't get into the mood for that. Not sure why?? DH doesn't really like that kind of stuff much. Like I had mentioned, nothing awful going on with me personally, just not happy lately. Guess it's just something to go thru. I don't think we are going to put up a Christmas tree this year at all. Maybe the Disney train but that's about it.

Sorry GB that it is becoming harder for you to enjoy your lunches out. Things that used to bring such joy can become stressful situations. Does your doctor feel that removing any of the tumers is an option at all?
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Old 12-04-2017, 07:08 AM   #1015
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Up early Sunday morning here. Two more "decent" days weather wise here then the terrible hits. We sit here trying to think of something to do to enjoy the last two half-ass nice days and we can't come up with anything??? That is kinda sad in itself There's a bunch of local "Christmas Walks" going on around and tree lighting ceremonies but we just can't get into the mood for that. Not sure why?? DH doesn't really like that kind of stuff much. Like I had mentioned, nothing awful going on with me personally, just not happy lately. Guess it's just something to go thru. I don't think we are going to put up a Christmas tree this year at all. Maybe the Disney train but that's about it.

Sorry GB that it is becoming harder for you to enjoy your lunches out. Things that used to bring such joy can become stressful situations. Does your doctor feel that removing any of the tumers is an option at all?
Hi Kris I hear ya on getting int9 the Christmas spirit. I mean I'm really thankful for the incarnation, but I celebrate it year round as the reason I exist myself. Without Jesus, I have nothing.

Santa and snowmen, etc were a fun part of my childhood. But it comes around so quickly every year, that it can become a "are you kidding me? We just put the decorations away!!"

I think life gets sad at times because we sense that we were made for something more than what we have discovered so far in life. Like life should be more than food and drink? Even more than friends?

Yet trying to discover what's missing feels like reaching for the stars so we give up on it too fast. We settle. We watch others and figure out the norms of life and we settle there. But the sadness still haunts us at times.

I think that's true for the Christian as well. He or she knows who God is and that God is love and that God has prepared a place for those who love Him. But He's still invisible for now and that can be hard.

We watched a Little House last night and Charles Ingalls was out in a blizzard trying to find some food for his family. He got a deer, but as he carried it on his shoulders back to this abandon house they took shelter in, the storm overtook his strength and he laid down to die.

Meanwhile, Caroline prays at the window "God protect him." Soon another hunter just so happens to discover Charles. And there's a happy ending. One person will talk about being "lucky", the person of faith knows better.

Sadness was turned to joy. The whole difficult experience itself? It was designed to strengthen faith. Faith is so vital, because if we recall, it was a lack of faith that caused the first man and woman to disobey God.

Ever since then, this life is a faith journey. The sad moments in life are opportunities to discover God more deeply. This is what I believe. I got it from the Bible.
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Old 12-04-2017, 07:19 AM   #1016
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hi, GB - and we will be given new and perfect bodies! I admire your Christian perspective on your cancer - which is why I follow your journey. Just know that others are praying for you - His will and not ours. Blessings.
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Old 12-05-2017, 07:54 AM   #1017
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hi, GB - and we will be given new and perfect bodies! I admire your Christian perspective on your cancer - which is why I follow your journey. Just know that others are praying for you - His will and not ours. Blessings.
Hi Casey I didn't know you were following my journey. Thanks for letting me know and thanks for your prayers.

How are things going for you?
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Old 12-05-2017, 03:10 PM   #1018
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GoBa:
I check in here once in a while to see how you are doing. I also admire your faith during this difficult road you are on. Your faith shines through so brightly. Be confident of my prayers for you! I share you faith!

Hi Kris!

Oh, and I saw that episode of Little House a long time ago!

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Old 12-06-2017, 05:11 AM   #1019
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hi, GB, Kris and Kauaimom!

I'd been following at first because of the interesting title - why we backslide - because even after eating clean/low carb for more than 18 years, I have the occasional binge - very occasional, but I've struggled with eating disorders when I was younger, and it's still in the deep recesses of my mind...

But GB, I've continued to follow your cancer journey as my dad was dealing with a mass in his lung - he went in for a chest X-ray for shortness of breath and they saw something ... A biopsy last week had good news - it's early stage and surgery and some follow up should be all he needs, but it has forced me to face losing him. Even though he's 82 and I'm 58, I've always been a daddy's girl and my biggest fear has been losing him. I still have both parents, and both are active Christians, but my mom is very negative, angry and controlling, so I run interference quite a lot - I just try to stay calm and be there for them. Dad is classified as obese, but he is not motivate to change that - or his eating habits. I'm the only one in the family who is not overweight and not on any meds, but they won't listen to any talk about the sugar-cancer connection. I've had melanoma and basal cell skin cancers, and so has dad - we are the only family members that have had skin cancer - but I know that once its in your system, it's more likely to show up as another form of cancer - so I firmly believe that staying at my ideal weight range and eating low carb for 18 years will work in my favor, and the rest I leave up to God.
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Old 12-06-2017, 08:42 AM   #1020
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hi, GB, Kris and Kauaimom!

I'd been following at first because of the interesting title - why we backslide - because even after eating clean/low carb for more than 18 years, I have the occasional binge - very occasional, but I've struggled with eating disorders when I was younger, and it's still in the deep recesses of my mind...

But GB, I've continued to follow your cancer journey as my dad was dealing with a mass in his lung - he went in for a chest X-ray for shortness of breath and they saw something ... A biopsy last week had good news - it's early stage and surgery and some follow up should be all he needs, but it has forced me to face losing him. Even though he's 82 and I'm 58, I've always been a daddy's girl and my biggest fear has been losing him. I still have both parents, and both are active Christians, but my mom is very negative, angry and controlling, so I run interference quite a lot - I just try to stay calm and be there for them. Dad is classified as obese, but he is not motivate to change that - or his eating habits. I'm the only one in the family who is not overweight and not on any meds, but they won't listen to any talk about the sugar-cancer connection. I've had melanoma and basal cell skin cancers, and so has dad - we are the only family members that have had skin cancer - but I know that once its in your system, it's more likely to show up as another form of cancer - so I firmly believe that staying at my ideal weight range and eating low carb for 18 years will work in my favor, and the rest I leave up to God.
Hi Casey Thanks for sharing about your life and your dad's. 82 years old. Not bad. I look at older people differently these days.

I see them and think to myself "wow, nice job avoiding cancer, etc all these years." Hope I see 82, but only if it isn't a couple of decades filled with human misery. Hopefully your dad will recover and see 92 plus. I'll say a prayer for that.

Sounds like you have done a great job with your healthy choices over the years. I'm sure you have an advantage over cancer with your diet. But you can still slip in a few fairly inexpensive measures to help keep the cancer cells in your body, right now (75 million cancer cells is the average number a healthy person has), from forming a colony and a tumor.

Have a great LC day and keep posting in here when you can.
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