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Old 07-28-2014, 12:37 PM   #31
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Erin57's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 1,652
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Stats: 220/137/150 5'9"
WOE: Moderate Carb/IF
Start Date: April 2010
I don’t have a daughter, just one grown son. I’ve been thinking about this thread and what I would do if I was in your position. I was the kid who hid/stole treats and asked for food from other people’s homes. We had 5 kids in our family. We ate regular meals but not a lot of “fun stuff.” That was in the 60’s and junk wasn’t as readily available as it is now. Looking back, mom was a sugar addict and dad was an alcoholic.

I was fat from age 11-13. My parents divorced and we moved to TN to live with my grandmother. At age 12ish I was sent to live with an aunt in NY. She was a former Ms TN runner up and was all about dieting. She put both my sister and I on a diet. I was a normal weight when I moved back home the next year. I found cigarettes and booze at about age 14-15 and transferred my addiction from food to them. I didn’t start putting the weight on again until my 40’s.

You guys are smart to be concerned. There were definitely some genetics in play for me as well as environment. I’ve read some research on what stage of life is really the most stressful for us. Not surprisingly, it is adolescence. You can have the perfect parents and home and still have stages where you just get stuck in your developement. I handled stress with food and then nicotine and alcohol. I still struggle with this.

Binge eating (hyper eating) is something that creates a lot of shame. The more weight you gain, the more the shame and the more you eat. It can be a way to sooth depression, anxiety and stress. From everything I have read about eating disorders those who suffer from them have one thing in common. They have restricted food at some point (dieting) and the worst age to do this is the teen development years.

If you are creating a healthy food environment I would concentrate on the other areas of concern. Easy for me to say, I don’t have a daughter. I was a teen girl at one time so I might go at it sideways and talk about my journey and what I have learned along the way. Why I started smoking or put on weight. What my challenges were that lead to it. How stressful the teen years were and how I wish I had developed better skills. I don’t remember anyone every commenting on my weight as a teen. OK, a few comments by my mom, which I have never forgotten. I do know that my mom and aunts valued thinness above all though.

Even if you don’t discuss dieting around kids they are smart. They pick up all kinds of cues, some none verbal. They also start to hear it at school. My 11 year old goddaughter is also being told that she is fat at school. Several of her friends are already on diets.

You might consider finding a counselor or joining a support group. Something that will help guide a teen with self-esteem and how to handle stress and anxiety. I have no idea where you would start. If you have a church, maybe start there?

Last edited by Erin57; 07-28-2014 at 12:41 PM..
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