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Old 12-21-2014, 10:21 AM   #1
joyful48
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I read HOW TO HAVE YOUR CAKE AND SKINNY JEANS TOO

Omg it's is so right on I recommend it highly . It it explains what we are Thinking to a TEE !! It is a must read. If you have read it please share your thoughts on Her book. I know it has impacted my thoughts like no other book has, regarding my relationship with food.
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Old 12-21-2014, 07:42 PM   #2
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All of us here no matter what WOE you have tried have all jumped on and off plan. Emotions,parties , and whatevers are always going to be a part of our lives. Believe me when I tell you I have tried everything even surgery and I am still at odds with food. Can I say, I am over it! I have found my answer , Hope you will too
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Old 12-22-2014, 06:19 AM   #3
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It's so good that you have such a positive response to the book. I know that a fair number of people have found useful ideas in it. I know that I recognise lots of bits and pieces from it in the issues that people discuss. Like 'Eating coz you ate', 'Mean girl munchies', 'gasping for food'.
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Old 12-22-2014, 06:46 AM   #4
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Yes Chasing the taste and Cuz you ate and Gasping has all been big problem now I understand it.Now I know what to do about it.
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Old 12-22-2014, 07:04 AM   #5
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I feel like that book and related posts here have helped me with some of these behaviors- especially "eating cause I ate" and "gasping for food."

Recognizing that "gasping for food" is not a moral failure but my body's reaction to excessive restriction has helped me to keep from dieting in a way that would result in "gasping" and helped me practice patience when whatever I am doing doesn't seem fast enough (and I am tempted to restrict even further to speed things up- now knowing I will break at some point be set back more than just staying the course).
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Old 12-22-2014, 12:00 PM   #6
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This is a really helpful book, and puts into words, in a really casual and easy way, all the things that we go through. For me, it's chasing the taste, and eatin' cuz you ate.
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Old 12-22-2014, 05:49 PM   #7
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Reading two books, Spinardi's and The Overfed Head, changed my relationship with food. It still amazes me, over half a year later.
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Old 12-23-2014, 05:13 AM   #8
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It's a really good book. I haven't been able to fully give myself over to IE, but am trying again this week. There's a whole lot of "Doritos and Donuts" right now, and eating cause I ate.
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Old 12-23-2014, 11:24 AM   #9
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thanks for the suggestion ! I am downloading it now to my Kindle
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Old 12-23-2014, 11:56 AM   #10
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I enjoyed the book and had many "aha!" and "that's me!" moments. Now to just put the good advice into practice .....
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Old 12-23-2014, 03:35 PM   #11
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I have a habit of mixing up Josie Spinardi and Gillian Riley - but I think it's Spinardi who suggests that people can benefit from finding a definitive and different way to signal the end of a meal? I find that interesting because I know that my DH has a tendency to graze if he's left to his own devices so we've had to introduce very definite routines for clearing up and the first 15 minutes after a meal. (We sit down together and watch an episode of something or a short DVD. This is not a time when we eat - we've already eaten. We might drink some tea but nothing else.)
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Old 12-23-2014, 06:05 PM   #12
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Yes armed with this knowledge I can start to stay the course. I can't say that it's easy to retrain your mind after 55+ yrs.of going around in a gerbil wheel after the prize.
I am determine to stop my insanity.
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Old 12-29-2014, 12:18 AM   #13
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I like this book too. I started implementing suggestions from this book, and it helps me with over eating
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Old 12-29-2014, 03:59 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by KeirasMom View Post
There's a whole lot of "Doritos and Donuts" right now, and eating cause I ate.
I do like the sound of the "Doritos and Donuts" phrase. As a phase - are you anyway near sated and bored with them as yet?
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Old 12-29-2014, 09:20 AM   #15
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Not yet . . .
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Old 12-29-2014, 11:00 AM   #16
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I sometimes wonder about this because it's not something that I presently have any intention of limiting, but, as I may have mentioned on more than a few occasions, , I adore Fage/Total's FF Greek Yoghurt. I eat it every day and it's not unusual for it to be > once a day. My one regret is that it is so expensive but I buy/eat it anyway. If, for some bizarre reason, that was something I was indulging in (as I already do) but for a "Doritos and Donuts" reason, a year's worth of data would show that I'm holding steady in my consumption and not at all sated or bored of it.

Is the emotional/philosophical difference that, apart from the cost, I have no other emotional reservations about denying myself this yoghurt - it's never been a forbidden food, so it can not, by definition, fall into a "Doritos and Donuts" category? IYSWIM?
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Old 12-29-2014, 11:20 AM   #17
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I tend to eat the same things over and over and ADORE them. With my bagels/cream cheese, or my lunchtime Banh Mis, I don't consider them junk food, so they don't fall into the "Doritos and Donuts" category for me, and yet I eat them mostly every day and don't get tired of them.

What I limit, usually, are "empty calories," things like soda, chips (crisps), candy, etc. These are the things that I can eat in abundance and wear on my hips and waist for all the world to see. I've been having way more chocolate than is my norm, and I fell face-first into some trail mix and a tin of gourmet popcorn in the last week. I will say, however, that I'm CRAVING salads and eating them more right now, but I'm still eating all the junk, too.
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Old 12-29-2014, 12:23 PM   #18
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I tend to eat the same things over and over and ADORE them. With my bagels/cream cheese, or my lunchtime Banh Mis, I don't consider them junk food, so they don't fall into the "Doritos and Donuts" category for me, and yet I eat them mostly every day and don't get tired of them.

What I limit, usually, are "empty calories,...These are the things that I can eat in abundance and wear on my hips and waist for all the world to see. I've been having way more chocolate than is my norm, and I fell face-first into some trail mix and a tin of gourmet popcorn in the last week. I will say, however, that I'm CRAVING salads and eating them more right now, but I'm still eating all the junk, too.
Hmm - I think a fair number of writers would say that it's good to add to the diet rather than constantly restrict - so, you're doing well by adding in the salads and enjoying them. Finessing the other bits will possibly more straightforward now that you've acquired a salad habit?

Interesting that you have things you eat regularly and of which you never tire. So, I'm definitely not understanding how "Doritos and Donuts" kicks in, but it obviously does for some people. So, either this is a YMMV thing or it is all about the sense of restriction and emotional aspect of some foods. Hmm.
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Old 12-29-2014, 12:36 PM   #19
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I've been having way more chocolate than is my norm, and I fell face-first into some trail mix and a tin of gourmet popcorn in the last week.
A little related to this, is a recent posting by Isabel Foxen Duke:
Quote:
The only time a person EVER “falls off a wagon”

is when there’s a wagon to fall off of;

a set of rules, ideals, or beliefs around food that we let determine how we feel about ourselves.

“I was sooo good with food yesterday, and today, I SUCK.”

sound familiar?

and I’m guessing that when you go into the place of “I suck,”

when you “fall off the wagon,”

you fall hard. Like knee-deep-in-brownie-batter-hard.


Not fun, and so avoidable.

If you want to make peace with food, and stop shame-eating cookies in the middle of the night,

Ask yourself,

what “wagons” am I trying not to fall off of?

Where am I judging my performance with food?

Where did I draw an imaginary line of “not okay?”

AND GET RID OF THAT SHIZ.


Because as long as there’s a wagon to fall off of, you WILL fall off of it eventually.

You see,

“Falling off” is not your problem. Your wagon is your problem.
It's tricky to think my way around this but I suppose it's that JUDDD doesn't forbid foods - tho' it will always be wise to assess the impact of foodstuffs on us when we eat them (physically, emotionally, or whether it triggers hunger or cravings).

I don't know tho' - I sometimes feel like fasting is like embracing a voluntary cognitive dissonance.
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Old 12-29-2014, 05:08 PM   #20
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Many times when i eat a no-no I do it in private Like when I take a spoon to the peanut butter jar - I make sure DH is not at home to see me Not that he would really care but I think he would laugh and that would make me mad! So is he the wagon? I can't and don't want to get rid of him!!!
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Old 01-01-2015, 03:44 PM   #21
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With the beginning of a new year, I've been reading a lot lot lot. Have not read Spinardi's book yet but I have read a few good journals here that talk about how she really changed how they look at hunger and emotional eating. I have been watching some of her videos. Good stuff. She talks to me.

I think for the most part I thought I no longer ate emotionally, but when Josie talked about Eating Cuz You Ate, Mean Girl Munchies and some of the others, wow its like she knows me and its validating to have someone explain it all in ways its hard for me to explain. She is easy for me to follow. Not in a medical book way but in a feelings kind of way. Its a style I can absorb better than others.

I'll grab the book at the library soon. Or I might DL it.
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Old 01-02-2015, 07:45 AM   #22
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It took 2 or 3 readings for me to really process the book but I credit it with maintaining my 50 pound weight loss for 9 months. I just saw that you can finally buy it in print form. Yeah!!
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Old 01-11-2015, 01:20 PM   #23
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I got a Kindle app and am reading it now. Wow. I kind of have to take it in stages because its so overwhelming how much of it I can relate to. I really thought that I was no longer an emotional eater, but I am. I thought because I have lost 70 lbs and kept it off for over three years meant I am doing something right/different. And I am. But I think I am just halfway there. I need to lose another 70 and I am struggling with it just like I did the first 70.
I think I am struggling because I am an emotional eater and I need to get to the bottom line and re-evaluate.

Emotional eating is simply eating when you're not hungry. Eating because its breakfast time, dinner time, bored so head for the kitchen kind of thing. In the past few months I have been much better at actually feeling hunger, but not consistently enough. For me I know its just a terrible bad habit, a learned behavior that is so ingrained I really had no direct connection to it even existing. Josie gives 5 kinds of emotional eating and each one of them is familiar to me some of them more than others.

I have been reading the book and taking steps to learn a new behavior. Hunger directed eating can be learned and its not really as hard as I thought it would be. I am kind of in the doritos and donuts stage, but still eating mostly low carb. I don't deny myself anything though. The more I eat what I truly am hungry for, I find myself eating like I would imagine a "normal" person would, someone with no food or weight issues.

I've also been meditating, visualizing, and doing yoga. My body seems to love it. Probably because I am paying more attention and listening to it.
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Old 01-11-2015, 01:54 PM   #24
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I thought because I have lost 70 lbs and kept it off for over three years meant I am doing something right/different. And I am. But I think I am just halfway there. I need to lose another 70 and I am struggling with it just like I did the first 70.
I think I am struggling because I am an emotional eater and I need to get to the bottom line and re-evaluate.

...Josie gives 5 kinds of emotional eating and each one of them is familiar to me some of them more than others.
Yes, you're maintaining that loss so you are doing something right/different (certainly different to others who haven't managed long-term maintenance as successfully as you have).

I'm intrigued by your realisation that you're halfway there and now thinking how to address that by working on the emotional eating.

I've been thinking about this quite a lot as elsewhere I've seen several people (elsewhere) describe a maintenance pattern in which they gain-lose up to 15lbs in several cycles over a year. And, for some of them, this seems to be a consciously-designed binge-restrict cycle, with the binges/over-eating scheduled to occur over holiday seasons or vacations. [NB: these are mostly retired people with active family lives, visiting family overseas, enjoying extended vacations etc..]

I'm torn between thinking that that may well be a rational decision based on people's self-knowledge and the circumstances of their lives and wondering if it's a possible gateway to Things Getting Out of Hand. Particularly if the severity and duration of the restriction has to lengthen in-between the binges/over-eating episodes in order to recover from the gains made during those times.

As ever, it might depend on the rationale and an individual's degree of self-knowledge. I don't know if this pattern is one where the recreational eating can be strictly contained to appropriate times or if, over time, it would expand to include/legitimate other types of over-eating (as categorised by Spinardi).

Maybe a lot has to do with age and personal circumstances.
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Old 01-11-2015, 03:02 PM   #25
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Its an intriguing subject, that's for sure, Sure. And I think the answer is that you have to figure it all out for yourself. I never thought of myself as an emotional eater. I thought I just loved food! But for me its come down to: If I am eating and I'm not hungry, there is a different reason. If its not physical, its mental/emotional/learned behavior.

For example, unless I've chosen a DD (I average 2 per week) I usually eat eggs, bacon, a flaxmeal OMM and my hm mocha with almond milk. Since paying close attention to HDE, I realize that that is just too much food. I feel too full when I've finished it. I don't feel the fullness right away. I feel it about 10 or 15 min after finishing. Then that little voice says, hmmm you ate too much. I answer her back with, well it was all on plan, VLC and it really wasn't THAT much food. (but turns out it was)
Today I made the same breakfast but cut it in half, and that portion was perfect. I had it at 9 a.m. and just now am eating 6 strawberries with HWC. Its so yummy and the portion, texture and satisfaction is just right.
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"In the beginning, we make our habits. Over time, our habits make us."

Eat clean and keep moving.
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Old 01-11-2015, 04:28 PM   #26
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Thank you for sharing this link! I just ordered this. I think this is exactly what I need to get re-started.
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Old 01-11-2015, 04:34 PM   #27
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I read the book and it is one I will be re reading again and again. So many many things she wrote resonated with me. Particularly the diet/restriction behaviors I see since I got to goal weight. I am really working hard on changing my relationship with food. JUDDD has helped me tremendously but this book just is "me" in so many ways.

I realized that even though I enjoyed on my UD whatever I wanted I realized I was still choosing only "good foods" but there are no bad foods. I saw that over the holidays in that I allowed myself 3 days of eating whatever I wanted and I ate till I was felt sick and did not feel full. I am hoping to change those behaviors and just be more aware.

Now I am practicing the HDE and savoring the food, eating till pleasently full and then stopping. Promising myself I can have more when I am hungry again. Also I am honest if I truly truly want something then have it but be aware of how the food makes me feel. I am finding that I am craving most the time my healthy/on plan foods. Again food and I am not bad/good is the biggest thing I am working on right now. Thankfully JUDDD works very well with a lot of the ideas she proposes otherwise the changes would be too overwhelming for me to implement. I find I can be more daring to try a new change as long as I have the security of a DD to catch me if I fall kind of thing kwim ?
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Old 01-11-2015, 04:47 PM   #28
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Thank you for sharing this link! I just ordered this. I think this is exactly what I need to get re-started.
If you eat when you're not hungry, Yes it is!
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"In the beginning, we make our habits. Over time, our habits make us."

Eat clean and keep moving.
And laugh a lot!
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Old 01-12-2015, 07:44 AM   #29
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Thankfully JUDDD works very well with a lot of the ideas she proposes otherwise the changes would be too overwhelming for me to implement. I find I can be more daring to try a new change as long as I have the security of a DD to catch me if I fall kind of thing kwim ?
I know exactly what you mean! A lot of what you wrote here describes how her ideas work for me as well.
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Old 01-12-2015, 10:24 AM   #30
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Start Date: 09/04/03
I've just downloaded this to my tablet, and I'm looking forward to reading it. I've avoided intuitive eating-type things for the past 25 years, since I felt Geneen Roth did me no favors. In telling me (at least I HEARD it that way, lol) that I could eat whatever I wanted, no restrictions, she gave me permission to eat my way up the scales at least 20 pounds before I had to make myself stop and do something else. Of course, nothing else worked better, either, and I ended up weighing 230. So, now that I've matured somewhat, perhaps it's time to give it another go.

I've been hugely successful with JUDDD, as far as I'm concerned. However, I'm still a disordered eater, and I'm struggling to stop overeating on my up days. Down days have never been a problem, but they are my justification for eating the wallpaper off the walls on my up days. My weight has stayed in a 15-pound range for the 3 years I've been JUDDDing, but it's not good enough. I've crept up another three pounds since Thanksgiving, and the way I'm eating, it's unlikely to go back down without a fight, lol.

I'm also thinking that this might be helpful to my older daughter. She's about 100 pounds overweight, and I know it makes her miserable. I adore her. She's an amazing human being, daughter, wife, and mother of three. I hate seeing her suffer. Maybe this will help us both. Thanks for posting about it.
__________________
Laurie
5'7" female, 60 yo
Proud grandmother of 5, including two sets of twins!
DH has lost 90 pounds
Click here for our fatties pics!
And another old one

Click here for a new picture.
And another newer one
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