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Old 09-20-2017, 06:38 AM   #871
schaferk
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Hi PAC!!! I know our little thread here has died on the vine!! But I like to pop in just to say hi to you every few days. Hope life is treating you well. I think GB has given up on us this time for good!! Plus it keeps me a little bit accountable I've lost some, back down to 141 but not all the way to my last sig weight. I've been trying to eat sensibly, but not strict LC. Just had a small bowl of the best ever cantelope and I've still been having craft beers. Big Quad Cities Marathon is this Sunday but the family is doing the 5 K this year instead of the longer races. We leave the next day for Disney so picked the easier option. As usual I'm trying to pack and do last minute crap, always a nightmare for me. Sometimes I don't know why I do it This will be the last Disney trip for a year, we only get the yearly season passes every other year.

I've been doing double duty exercising, a walk/run in the morning AND averaging a 22 mile bike ride in the afternoon. Sometimes I do that before a trip and I usually drop a couple extra pounds.

Have a great day!!
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Old 09-20-2017, 01:18 PM   #872
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You're doing grood Kris, and it's always good to hear from you. Keep up with that exercise!! It's great that your family does these races together and you are lucky to get all these trips in.

I've been staying pretty well low carb unless a few pretzels creep into my line of vision. I am not and will never be a die hard low carber. I eat low enough carb to keep my blood sugar in line, but life is too short, and I'm on the back end now anyway. LOL For the most part I no longer eat bread products, pasta, rice and the other white stuff, but I'm not perfect.
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Old 10-13-2017, 06:49 AM   #873
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yes PAC we do have reservations. I can cancel now and get my deposit back from the Disney property hotel but not the Shades of Green one, I'll lose $150 (one night) if I cancel it. We are considering canceling tho, worried about gas shortages, etc. Hard decision.

Great job on the maintaining. I think I am too, haven't really weighed. I know I'm not losing either. I'm disgusted with myself, cant stay focused on ANYTHING!

We don't watch all 3 kids at once, at least haven't yet. Its so wonderful to just have one at a time - the middle guy is just a joy to have around, he's still 3. I love the 5 yr old so much too but both together they cause havoc!! The new baby is 8 day old now and doing fine.

GB where are you? how you doing?
I'm not good Kris. I've been feeling lost and on the run. I now have a new mass in my left buttock and it seems to be growing very fast.

I don't know how it got there, if it's cancer too, because the CT scan a while back didn't pick it up. Or maybe the Radiologist just missed it??

Anyway, with the pace that it's progressing I am forced to realize I will need surgery to remove it. That means I must get my liver in shape to deal with pain meds after surgery, right?

So today I am coming out of this stupor of denial and I have to get dead serious. It's a good time of year for it too. It's like the summer party is over. The Winter is fast approaching and I need to hunker down and see if I can get results.

Sorry I have been gone so long, but like we have both said, if we aren't really trying to get results (whether weight loss or health results), then we don't feel like posting.

So here I go again on another Day One. No choice. The tumor on my leg wasn't that uncomfortable, but this new whatever it is makes it hard to get comfortable in a seated position. Pain is a powerful motivator right?

I must either get these tumors to soften up and shrink, or prepare to get cut up in surgery. Either way, I must repair my liver. I'm gonna need it big time.
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Old 10-13-2017, 07:21 AM   #874
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GB So very glad to hear from you, but saddened by your news. I'm sure PAC was wondering about you too. We will be here with you every day starting with your new "day one". As you know, we all have many "day ones" to look back on. I will start one with you too. I've been looking for a reason to start again and you are it. It is SO important that you do this now, you need to get yourself healthy, get the surgery, and get yourself better. Get them both removed. I've been worried about you.

I just got home from Disney in FL late Tues night and I also have been off ANY plan for several weeks, can't get started. Now I have a reason, sad as it may be. Lets do this together, I'll start with you THIS MINUTE. I'm sure PAC will join us. Post your losses, post what you eat, how you are feeling, anything. I've got to get to the store and get some healthy stuff as I've been eating JUNK and have no good food around I'm up about 10 pounds from what I want to be and should be. Let's start posting our pound drops together!!

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Old 10-13-2017, 01:05 PM   #875
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GB So very glad to hear from you, but saddened by your news. I'm sure PAC was wondering about you too. We will be here with you every day starting with your new "day one". As you know, we all have many "day ones" to look back on. I will start one with you too. I've been looking for a reason to start again and you are it. It is SO important that you do this now, you need to get yourself healthy, get the surgery, and get yourself better. Get them both removed. I've been worried about you.

I just got home from Disney in FL late Tues night and I also have been off ANY plan for several weeks, can't get started. Now I have a reason, sad as it may be. Lets do this together, I'll start with you THIS MINUTE. I'm sure PAC will join us. Post your losses, post what you eat, how you are feeling, anything. I've got to get to the store and get some healthy stuff as I've been eating JUNK and have no good food around I'm up about 10 pounds from what I want to be and should be. Let's start posting our pound drops together!!

Thnx Kris Hey that's great that u want to join me. For me this is about the liver first. I have been beating it up for a while.

So dumb, but sometimes I just can't stand life. Of course if I'm in the hospital I 'd love to get out and enjoy life again.

I have had a lot of stress these past few weeks. My lead painter of more than 20 years, suddenly quit. I should say my only painter. I had to get back to work and I had to find out that I was really out of shape in my work muscles.

It takes a special endurance to be on your feet all day. Or to get up and down off the floor.

Anyway, I wasn't liking life. So that means beer. I'm cutting it out completely right now. I have to. I have to try to save my liver and then get ready for possible surgery.

Right now I am planning on getting as radical as possible with everything I know to do. Maybe I still can beat these tumors. If I get the slightest apparent change in them, I'd be over the moon and hopefully keep it up. Don't celebrate with a beer.
So what are you gonna do Kris? What's your game plan? I know I will win in the weight loss category simply by stopping the beer.

And as we both know, getting a clean liver is a big part of efficient weight loss.

Well, keep me posted. I'm not gonna weigh for a while, until I feel good about what I might see. I haven't weighed in weeks for fear of getting depressed.

Say hi to PAC. Maybe she will join us on our new Day One.
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Old 10-14-2017, 06:16 AM   #876
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Good Morning! Our little thread had almost died here, just PAC & me mostly checking in occasionally about what's going on in our lives. I hadn't given much thought to a real LC game plan lately so not sure how to get back on the horse But it is definitely past time for me to do so, weight has been steadily climbing.

I have a new Grandbaby that I will start babysitting full time next week so I guess in the back of my mind I thought I'd be forced to stay home more and eat better So far, I've still been going out, but stopping when full (I'm a plate cleaner by nature) and I'm back to ordering fish & more healthy sides. If I'm feeling full at all, I just stop and leave it or pass it to hubby who is a human garbage pail of eating everything. I'm jealous. Also I got into the habit of eating 3 meals on vacation so am just now getting it back down to eating once a day if possible. Our hotel had FREE happy hour EVERYDAY 5:30 to 6:30 ALL YOU COULD DRINK which was slamming 4 to 5 beers in one hour for me, a lot of calories on top of whatever I was already eating and drinking all day. It was a mess. So now getting out of vacation mode - went out and ran yesterday for first time since the QC Marathon 5K in Sep, about a month ago. Its tough getting back to what's good for you after letting it go for awhile We all know that too well.

GB It's more important than ever that you do that right now, not about the weight, but like you said, getting the liver ready for possible surgery. I've just got to give mine a much needed rest after the abuse of vacation. I will probably have to go strict no fun super diet life for about 3 weeks to get something really working for me. I've let things slip. Got a wedding tonight and SIL birthday tomorrow but starting next week I'll be spending more time at home for awhile so basically I guess the plan will be LC, less consumption, better choices.

Bad news about your painter, why would he just quit like that? No way you can just jump back in and cover the job with all that's going on with you. Have you found a replacement for him yet? I can understand why you have not been liking your life lately and turning to beer. But we can't give up. I am praying for things to turn around for you. You have a lot of years left, make them the best you can.
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Old 10-14-2017, 08:25 AM   #877
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Good Morning!

GB It's more important than ever that you do that right now, not about the weight, but like you said, getting the liver ready for possible surgery. I've just got to give mine a much needed rest after the abuse of vacation. I will probably have to go strict no fun super diet life for about 3 weeks to get something really working for me. I've let things slip. Got a wedding tonight and SIL birthday tomorrow but starting next week I'll be spending more time at home for awhile so basically I guess the plan will be LC, less consumption, better choices.

Bad news about your painter, why would he just quit like that? No way you can just jump back in and cover the job with all that's going on with you. Have you found a replacement for him yet? I can understand why you have not been liking your life lately and turning to beer. But we can't give up. I am praying for things to turn around for you. You have a lot of years left, make them the best you can.
Hi Kris Congrats on the new baby I have a fairly new grandson myself. He's a few months old.

I can get him to smile more than most. He's been so faithful to breast feed, I now call him "tank".

Wow , all you can drink beer That would be sooooo hard to be "good" around. It's a recipe for disaster!!

I was struck by your statement of going "strict no fun super diet." I'm wondering if you can change that somehow, so that it doesn't feel strict and no fun?

Because strict and no fun has no future to it. Who's gonna last with a life that is strict and no fun? It can work if there is a big prize waiting for one. Like when we were younger and if we got down to a good weight and looked good on the beach, we might get the prize of _______ ( fill in the blank.)

Or if you're the Bachelor and taping the show starts in two months, you won't think much of the strict diet, because soon your body will be flashed upon millions of TV screens across the nation.

But what about Kris and GB and PAC? We are all at the age where health goes before beauty. Still, strict and no fun have to go. We MUST make it fun and we MUST be creative so that we feel indulged rather than restricted.

Here I sit on a Saturday morning of DAY TWO and I will need to get thru this beautiful, sunny day without feeling like it's all about avoiding beer. That would be a strict and no fun day.

Of course with me I am sooooo at a point in my cancer battle that I have to face the music and get my liver back. And the possible exciting part is that I might just hit on a combo of things with high dosing, that I notice some softening in the tumors.

Still, I won't stand for no fun. I can use my THC, but to be honest, I haven't found it much fun. Nothing like beer fun. But you know what is fun? Lots of things. Fun is a great cup of organic, freshly ground coffee made the way we like it.

Or if I am using the THC, fun is making this cancer diet concoction that tastes like blueberry yogurt. The high from the THC causes me to be myopic
and really zone in on the flavor of it all.

Fun. What a concept huh? Remember the old "are we having fun yet?" And I have to admit that my funnest times in adult life have all had beer in the mix.

What is fun? It's kind of elusive isn't it? It's fun to watch a fun TV show. You really don't need a beer to enjoy it. But it's hard to be in that huge pool in the desert without a beer. In fact, a lot of beating a bad habit is to avoid certain association things, like a big pool on a hot day.

We have to be creative. The pool's no good, so then what? Personally, I like to break my day up into a bunch of small things. If I have a big task to do and it's no fun, I will attack a portion of it and then do a bit of something fun. Then go back and attack another small portion. Then get on my bike for a short ride.

Break it up all day if I can. Hang out with my wife for a bit. Get on the internet and research for a bit. Never just sit around and stare at a wall. Pray for bit. Read a bit of a good book.

Dwell for a bit on all the benefits your new disciplined life will produce. Have fun even as you restrict yourself. Try to indulge on tasty things that are mostly "free calories." Fruit smoothies made with Stevia for a sweetener can be sooooo good and yet not a big calorie deal. Plus they're good for you too.

So help me Kris to think of fun things to do in life without involving beer. Ok?
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Old 10-14-2017, 07:24 PM   #878
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Just checking in. So far so good on no beer. Not that hard in as much as I know my liver is in big trouble, so I'm walking on eggshells around it.

I am more interested in feeling better than trying to drown my sorrows in beer.

I gave myself my first coffee enema in a long time. This time I think it was too early, even as my liver area has hurt bad ever since i did it this morning. I won't take another until this significant ache in my middle right back side subsides.

I was never this stupid when I was younger. This older version of me has me less concerned about dying. When I was young, I was really concerned about staying alive.

Remember the old days when you messed around with beer? You'd have too many, get sick, wake up hung over....and think to yourself "is this really worth it?" So then you wouldn't drink for a while. Fear of feeling bad. Fear of harming yourself. Hey, that's pretty smart there young man.
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Old 10-15-2017, 04:46 AM   #879
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:hiya Sunday already! The weekends still go so fast even when retired. The wedding kinda messed me up last night, some mashed potatoes, beer & cake so not a full fledged start back on the wagon, dragging my feet as usual. Have the SIL's birthday party today too so tomorrow morning will be official 'start of strictness'. I did spend time analyzing things last night tho - if I was giving up beer for awhile like you GB the reception would have been difficult to get through. I tried to think of what I could have done to have a great time without the beer. A good friend and member of circle who was there has been sober for a year now and he does fine. He HAD to give it up. We can do it, just gotta find other things to amuse us like you said. I did cut way back and felt I had made an effort at least. Certainly not good enough. I know you HAVE to do it this time GB but I really WANT to do it right now too. It should not be this hard. My desire to get to a healthy goal SHOULD trump my desire to eat and drink. There is not a good reason at all for me to abuse things; my life has been trodding along pretty normal lately, no major upsets recently I want to make myself strong for you, myself, and all of us here. We have to find a good reason to want to live longer, feel better, look better, be healthier like you mentioned so we have the initiative to make it happen. Some reason I WANT those things????

I do know the plan at least - staying home more starting tomorrow, having baby here to keep me busy. Our big drinking buddy friends are headed to Arizona for month so that will help me I'm going to try hard to make the food in my over bulging freezer which will be way healthier than going out. I wish I could come up with more things "to do" other than drink but all I got is going for long jogs/walks outside enjoying the weather or some biking before it gets too cold.

I plan to IF, eat within a 5 hr window daily for a couple of weeks. Very LC, maybe keeping it below 20 per day and some days 0 carb
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Old 10-15-2017, 07:03 AM   #880
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:hiya Sunday already! The weekends still go so fast even when retired. The wedding kinda messed me up last night, some mashed potatoes, beer & cake so not a full fledged start back on the wagon, dragging my feet as usual. Have the SIL's birthday party today too so tomorrow morning will be official 'start of strictness'. I did spend time analyzing things last night tho - if I was giving up beer for awhile like you GB the reception would have been difficult to get through. I tried to think of what I could have done to have a great time without the beer. A good friend and member of circle who was there has been sober for a year now and he does fine. He HAD to give it up. We can do it, just gotta find other things to amuse us like you said. I did cut way back and felt I had made an effort at least. Certainly not good enough. I know you HAVE to do it this time GB but I really WANT to do it right now too. It should not be this hard. My desire to get to a healthy goal SHOULD trump my desire to eat and drink. There is not a good reason at all for me to abuse things; my life has been trodding along pretty normal lately, no major upsets recently I want to make myself strong for you, myself, and all of us here. We have to find a good reason to want to live longer, feel better, look better, be healthier like you mentioned so we have the initiative to make it happen. Some reason I WANT those things????

I do know the plan at least - staying home more starting tomorrow, having baby here to keep me busy. Our big drinking buddy friends are headed to Arizona for month so that will help me I'm going to try hard to make the food in my over bulging freezer which will be way healthier than going out. I wish I could come up with more things "to do" other than drink but all I got is going for long jogs/walks outside enjoying the weather or some biking before it gets too cold.

I plan to IF, eat within a 5 hr window daily for a couple of weeks. Very LC, maybe keeping it below 20 per day and some days 0 carb
Yeah, Sunday. Church day. Well Kris, I liked reading your post. I have tried over the years in here with ya to come up with the silver bullet solution.

I totally understand how hard it is to give up beer, especially if you still believe you are ok health wise and still have time for more. You and I can both be glad we never got involved with hard drugs or even hard alcohol for that matter.

In that way, we are like PAC, who can't really relate to wanting beer all the time. I can't relate to heroine (spelling?) because I never tried it. And boy am I glad I have no desire for it. I know PAC tried beer, but she never developed great memories surrounding it. As I recall, her memories are along the lines of those "first" times, where learning to love beer has it's bummers along the way.

I remember when I bought 5 beers from a High School buddy who had kept them under his bed for a long time. I drank them and was surprised at how much I wanted to talk and try to be the life of the party. I had fun. But....I spent the night at a friends house on his bedroom floor and woke up with his pants half on and I had wet myself and his pants.

I felt really lousy. I still remember looking into the mirror and seeing this sick face of mine looking back. I thought to myself, I can't do this anymore. I felt like I was gonna die.

Some of us quit right there and go on to have PAC like lives where the idea of beer is totally unnecessary. I guess I wish that had happened to me, BUT....I also tend to not envy the people I know who don't like beer.

My wife doesn't like it, but she does like wine. And when she has a glass I often say to her "I'm proud of you." Because she lightens up. She enjoys it. She's a little more fun to be around.

I hope PAC doesn't feel like I'm putting her down. I love her posts and her writings reflect a very nice and friendly person. And she is blessed to NOT have developed a liking for beer. I wish I didn't love it anymore myself. But I also wonder what my personality is gonna be like if I continue the straight life.

I don't think I will want to go out to parties. I don't really like being around people if I don't have any beer to lighten me up. My early years of being a Christian involved being around a more legalistic group of friends, where we all felt good about ourselves because we weren't "worldly" like the people who smoked cigs and drank beer.

Instead our parties were filled with junk food and desserts. Lots of desserts.
You had better not drink beer, but you can blast your pancreas with a months worth of sugar in an evening.

So anyway, enough beer talk. My right back side has improved a lot since going to bed with it aching still from the coffee enema. I can still feel it, but I have hope that my body will recover in the total absence of alcohol.

I am strongly desiring to find out if this cancer will respond to some very serious lifestyle changes. If not, I will need to get cut to pieces by a surgeon and I hate the thot of going thru that with a shaky liver and being all fat and out of shape.

If I must die in the next year or two, I want to die physically fit. I really do. I want to die knowing I put up a good fight. I have hated myself for rolling over and turning a blind eye to what is happening to me.

Well Kris , I hope you find the resolve to get some good changes going right now. Sounds like you want it So go get it friend. Lets do this.
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Old 10-15-2017, 04:30 PM   #881
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Just checking in. It's a part of my breaking my day up into small pieces. Without beer I start to get a lot more energy, but I don't know what to do with it.

So i just do everything. Stay distracted. Definitely NOT hungry. I have to take so many supplements for the cancer....and that means liquids going down, my stomach has no room for hungry.

But before my veggie dinner i back off from liquids and let hunger build in. Because my dinner is one of the only pleasurable activities I have. At least the biggest ya know. So I want an appetite.

I make sure I have the THC munchies and I enjoy my dinner.

Haven't checked my weight for fear of the unknown. But as I de-bloat over the next couple of weeks, I plan to take a peek.

I will report my weight once I'm in a good weight loss rhythm. That way there won't be any of the water weight baloney in there.

I'd like to lose 8 to 10 pounds a month. But that might be too much for my liver Toxins are stored in fat cells, so fast weight loss sends a lot of toxins thru the liver and kidneys.

I saw this diet pill advertised to make you lose 61 pounds in 35 days!! That is totally stupid if it were even true. That could kill a person.
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Old 10-16-2017, 06:17 AM   #882
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Just checking in here too. Didn't weigh this morning, had 2 eggs, 2 pc bacon. Starting out with zero carbs. Getting ready to head out to walk. Got down into the 30's here last night tho so the "nasty" has started, in for a crappy cold Winter as always here in the armpit of the nation.

GB Sounds like you were quite the wild party animal in your younger days. I'm not sure I ever was a huge partier but I've indulged in more than my share of the beer for a large part of my existence. Actually didn't start until after I had my kids and was over 25, didn't drink or party much as a teen or in college. I had horses to take care of & was in the work program all thru highschool so was a late bloomer in the partying arena. I remember lots of pot smoking going on around me & tried a few things like that. Never indulged in the hard drugs so I know nothing about them. Just prayed that my girls never got sucked into those things. I did smoke cigarettes for many years and am glad I finally kicked that expensive habit Oddly I still miss it and think cigarette smoke smells "good" sometimes. I agree GB the older we get, the more things happen to us and we have to give up more and more of the few things we enjoy. It's too bad for sure. Not much left. I can eat so little now trying to stay in the 130's when really I SHOULD be under 120 duh. I'd have to eat under 800 cals a day to ever maintain that and I'm pretty active. No wonder we don't love our lives
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Old 10-16-2017, 02:54 PM   #883
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Hi GB I actually do take in about 1200 to 2000 calories a day when life is going along normal and I'm not trying to lose. Trouble is I slowly creep up, gaining when I do that. I was speculating that I could only take in 800 calories per day to maintain in the 120s/130s, my healthy area. I don't really know anymore how much and I can, or should eat to be honest. Today, I eggs & bacon (zero carbs), then 3 hours later had some chicken, lettuce, cheese, a little rice & couple chips. Maybe 20 carbs but not tons. No beer. Won't eat again all day, just water. I'm not sure yet if I'm even doing things right, I'll weigh tomorrow.

Congrats on Day 4!!!! I wish the tumor was not growing so fast tho
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Old 10-16-2017, 05:56 PM   #884
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Hi GB I actually do take in about 1200 to 2000 calories a day when life is going along normal and I'm not trying to lose. Trouble is I slowly creep up, gaining when I do that. I was speculating that I could only take in 800 calories per day to maintain in the 120s/130s, my healthy area. I don't really know anymore how much and I can, or should eat to be honest. Today, I eggs & bacon (zero carbs), then 3 hours later had some chicken, lettuce, cheese, a little rice & couple chips. Maybe 20 carbs but not tons. No beer. Won't eat again all day, just water. I'm not sure yet if I'm even doing things right, I'll weigh tomorrow.

Congrats on Day 4!!!! I wish the tumor was not growing so fast tho
Hi Kris Well it sounds like you tried hard today. So I'm proud of you for that on your Day Four.

I didn't have much to eat today myself. But it's easy for me because I have lots of things i'm supposed to take on an empty stomach. Most of the day i'm waiting for enough liquids to exit my stomach so I can take some more.

Since you are not a sup taker, you miss out on all the activity of sup taking. If you're not eating your tiny little LC meals, you're stuck in limbo until the next tiny meal. That's hard.

I'm all like "oh good, I have room right now to get these crucial supplements into my stomach." It's like I don't have time to get hungry.

Well maybe that's not an issue for you anyway. But I'm sure it is for so many dieters. That's why people love to smoke. To pacify the down time, they just keep lighting up.

I'd have loved to give up beer for cigarettes at one time in my life. But smoking always seemed more stupid than over drinking beer.

Anyway, just thinking out loud. We never know when we might say something that triggers a new thought in the other person. I still think you should easily be able to eat more and lose weight.

As long as they are good choices. Maybe because you suddenly throw on the brakes and radically reduce cals to get into the 120's, that you find yourself getting off the ride too fast.

But I did plenty of what you do back in the day when it was all about results. I wanted fast results. I felt impatient. I didn't really want to cultivate a diet that got slow results, but one I could more easily live with for long term.
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Old 10-17-2017, 05:46 AM   #885
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I too want a healthy diet plan (lifestyle) that I can live with long term but my thinking is all messed up cause I keep thinking that if I just radically speed things up for a couple of weeks in the BEGINNING and lose 10/12 fast then I can ease into a good healthy lifestyle diet affording me the pleasure of eating enough, often enough to enjoy life but still maintain or very slowly lose to my desired weight. Problem is I NEVER get to that point. It was always easy for me in the very early years so my brain keeps thinking it will be easy again and it hasn't been for quite some time now. Its never easy anymore like it used to be; in fact I'm up another couple of pounds. I just weighed this morning and I'm 148.5. Lots of parties/events since we got home from Disney and now DD not going back to work till next Monday so don't have Baby Broyn this week afterall. Cubs are in playoffs tonight so friends have scheduled a big thing. I'm not going to complain again like I always do - I am thankful for my friends & family being around me so not complaining that I will probably eat/drink more than I had planned - just confessing
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Old 10-17-2017, 07:26 AM   #886
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I too want a healthy diet plan (lifestyle) that I can live with long term but my thinking is all messed up cause I keep thinking that if I just radically speed things up for a couple of weeks in the BEGINNING and lose 10/12 fast then I can ease into a good healthy lifestyle diet affording me the pleasure of eating enough, often enough to enjoy life but still maintain or very slowly lose to my desired weight. Problem is I NEVER get to that point. It was always easy for me in the very early years so my brain keeps thinking it will be easy again and it hasn't been for quite some time now. Its never easy anymore like it used to be; in fact I'm up another couple of pounds. I just weighed this morning and I'm 148.5. Lots of parties/events since we got home from Disney and now DD not going back to work till next Monday so don't have Baby Broyn this week afterall. Cubs are in playoffs tonight so friends have scheduled a big thing. I'm not going to complain again like I always do - I am thankful for my friends & family being around me so not complaining that I will probably eat/drink more than I had planned - just confessing
I hear ya Kris
I like how you make me want to try and figure out this part of life with you. The part that involves what we put in our mouths.

When I was younger, at times I would get a little scared that maybe I would get cancer some day. So I'd go on a health kick to try and prevent it. I'd feel smart. And I'd feel better too.

But something about the repetition of life, the mundane, the ordinary bothered me tremendously. It was like: where's that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

When is life going to come together and be really great? My religious beliefs kept me fenced in to a point (for good reasons), so I couldn't explore the dark side to see if life was over there.

Eventually I'd begin to find that my best times, the times that felt the most like I was at the end of the rainbow, was when there was a cold beer in my hand. That's it. I never found anything better.

Better in sense of "good times." Because I did have faith experiences that were more profound and meaningful, but those experiences come and go. God really expects us to learn to glorify Him in the mundane. He's not looking for moms to necessarily drop everything and go to Africa to reach the lost. No, He's looks for faithfulness in being a mom.

But yeah, beer. Beer and friends, better yet. I think that's where you're at Kris . You'd love to be slim and trim, but the rewards for being so, just aren't enough to compete with the instant gratification of friends, beer and tasty food.
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Old 10-17-2017, 04:06 PM   #887
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Just checking in: Day Five is almost in the bag. Had no real desire to drink beer. No desire to do anything that might impede my urgent effort to restore my liver.

Look at what it takes to get some of us doing the right thing!! I don't find myself suddenly desperate to save my life, but i'm just on a more practical venture. Surgery means pain meds afterwards. I'd prefer to not be so stupid as to find out my liver can't process, then it shuts down and I die like a dumb fool.

No, I'd rather put up a great fight, then die if I must. This whole effort also brings in the spiritual aspect of my life. Beer has always dumbed me down and made me a shirker in my faith disciplines.

There's a verse in the good Book that asks: "Why do you call me Lord and do not the things that I say?" That sounds like the perfect question to ask me from Him. I don't have the answer, but beer sure helps me keep my head stuck in the sand.
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Old 10-18-2017, 07:09 AM   #888
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Darn, was hoping Kris might have posted. I'd sure love to see her find a breakthrough. But it involves suffering. And that is so hard to sign up for.

Those who are willing to suffer, find the joy of good results. But then you have to adopt suffering as a way of life or any progress will immediately be wiped away.

I suppose after a long enough time, the suffering would become so normal that it wouldn't register anymore. Right now I am forced to suffer because of disease. I have no choice. I must stare into the harsh world of life without that which I have leaned on for years.

But I do hold on to hope that there is a sublime beauty that awaits those who suffer. Jesus Himself calls us to suffer with Him. To give up our lives for Him. In return He promises to give us real life. A life very few know, because they refuse to suffer with Him. I certainly have refused it and would still refuse it if I was not being forced to suffer.

Strange concept indeed.
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Old 10-18-2017, 03:56 PM   #889
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Here I am!! Lagging a little with my post, yesterday was a bad day. Just nothing going right. Certainly not in the healthy diet department. I've got to realize that if I'm going to succeed at this, or anything, I've got to be prepared to be a little uncomfortable. No breakthrough yet, I'm struggling right now. Maybe feeling a little sorry for myself and for no good reason. Nothing is wrong with me. I guess I'm having trouble accepting what you just said - I AM going to have to suffer to make any progress. Sometimes in the past it didn't feel like suffering but now it does and I and moping, not starting. Well I kinda started but when DD comes over and wants to go to lunch her last week off work cave immediately. Monday and today. I'm still trying just not succeeding yet.
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Old 10-18-2017, 05:30 PM   #890
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Here I am!! Lagging a little with my post, yesterday was a bad day. Just nothing going right. Certainly not in the healthy diet department. I've got to realize that if I'm going to succeed at this, or anything, I've got to be prepared to be a little uncomfortable. No breakthrough yet, I'm struggling right now. Maybe feeling a little sorry for myself and for no good reason. Nothing is wrong with me. I guess I'm having trouble accepting what you just said - I AM going to have to suffer to make any progress. Sometimes in the past it didn't feel like suffering but now it does and I and moping, not starting. Well I kinda started but when DD comes over and wants to go to lunch her last week off work cave immediately. Monday and today. I'm still trying just not succeeding yet.
I hear ya Kris Here's the thing for me right now, I have been such an immature male for most of my life. My worker who just quit is more immature than I am.

He cannot stop trying to be humorous all day. His style is to goad the other person to get them to react. He repeats the same things everyday. I have tried every kind of reaction, nothing worked to stop him.

So I'd do a lot of paybacks , like sticking my finger in his ear. He hated that. But everyday at work, he'd provoke me and I'd stick my finger in his ear. And we'd do other antics all day.

I have a new helper and he has a different way of making me want to stick my fingers in his ears, but I have refrained. Still, we'll cut up by making strange sounds all day trying to get a chuckle.

Today after no beer for 6 days, I felt unusually focused. I prayed a lot. I wanted to please the Lord really bad. So today, because of suffering, I entered a different world. I can't explain it, but I know it is more valuable than gold.

I need to change! I must change! But I absolutely cannot change the right way, a holy way, a godly way without suffering being the vehicle to get me there. Thus I thank God for my suffering. I wouldn't trade it for feeling ok or not having to face death soon.

I want to die with dignity, not as a godless fool.
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Old 10-19-2017, 06:05 AM   #891
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I hear ya GB. Maybe don't understand all the feelings you are having since I don't have much of a church background but I have always believed in GOD and talked to him/prayed all my life. I believe he has listened to me at times. But then other times I say "how can there be a God that lets this happen"? Not trying to get into a big religion discussion or anything, we know each other well enough to know what each other believes in. Just sometimes I'm not sure which side of the fence I'm believing - I go back and forth. But always believe God is here and will take care of us. Mom was always making the old comment "All things happen for a reason, it's God's way". I think I do some wrong things tho - like sometimes I find myself bargaining with God, saying if you fix XXXXX for me I promise to be XXXXX forever. That is not right I know. I and KNOW it would be so petty to ask God to help me lose weight with all the other problems people have so I have not done that. But I have wanted to

I believe that miracles happen every day so I'm not giving up on anything even if I'm not doing that well right now on what I'd like to do for myself. Things will get better.

I got a chuckle out of hearing you talk about your helper. Sounds like you have a lot of fun on the job to an outsider but when the truth is some of it's annoying and you are just stuck with it, that's not the best. Ya gotta just hang I guess.
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Old 10-19-2017, 07:33 AM   #892
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I hear ya GB. Maybe don't understand all the feelings you are having since I don't have much of a church background but I have always believed in GOD and talked to him/prayed all my life. I believe he has listened to me at times. But then other times I say "how can there be a God that lets this happen"? Not trying to get into a big religion discussion or anything, we know each other well enough to know what each other believes in. Just sometimes I'm not sure which side of the fence I'm believing - I go back and forth. But always believe God is here and will take care of us. Mom was always making the old comment "All things happen for a reason, it's God's way". I think I do some wrong things tho - like sometimes I find myself bargaining with God, saying if you fix XXXXX for me I promise to be XXXXX forever. That is not right I know. I and KNOW it would be so petty to ask God to help me lose weight with all the other problems people have so I have not done that. But I have wanted to

I believe that miracles happen every day so I'm not giving up on anything even if I'm not doing that well right now on what I'd like to do for myself. Things will get better.

I got a chuckle out of hearing you talk about your helper. Sounds like you have a lot of fun on the job to an outsider but when the truth is some of it's annoying and you are just stuck with it, that's not the best. Ya gotta just hang I guess.
Good morning Kris We do know each other on certain levels. I have a general feel for what kind of life you have. But this morning I learned a lot more about your spiritual side. Or your faith side of you.

I'd love to converse with you more, about what it is exactly that you believe.
I guess it will come out in bits and pieces over time, We both know that this forum is not the place for trying to persuade another person of ulitmate truth.

But even as I'm dying (and we all are from the day we are born), the dross is coming to the surface and must be purified further. Not purified in the sense of qualifying myself for entry into heaven. Someone else has already qualified me for that based on His perfect life and death on my behalf.

But purified in the sense of hopefully hearing someday " well done thou good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of your Lord."

I think you should pray to God for help with your weight loss efforts. One ought never to think that God is too busy with bigger fish to fry. Remember, He steers all the stars in the sky, keeping each one in it's course. Nothing is too big or too small to involve His action.

So why would I not give up the beer, even after the cancer diagnosis (tho I did for a few weeks before I let it come back at sauna time)? A short answer is "because I could."

If we have a certain kind of stroke (like my dad's), we would come away without the ability to swallow. That would certainly solve the beer problem and all of the bad foods we eat.

Thankfully that is currently not what's helping me stop beer. But I am so close to that kind of reason, that it feels like a "cannot." With the metastasis to my left buttock and severe discomfort in my liver area, it's all I can do to put as much in my mouth as possible that will help (not harm) my last ditch effort to win the fight with cancer.

I discovered the probable "why" the tumor in my buttock is growing so fast (tho hopefully I am slowing it now). I learned that inside a tumor the cancer cells are always mutating. The ones that are the strongest and multiply the fastest sort of take over.

If these escape the tumor sack and enter the blood (and they do) and if they can form a colony and get a tumor going, it will be a faster growing tumor than the primary tumor.

Anyway, so as I go thru each day, without my old props to buoy me up, I am forced into a new world. And I am forced to stay in it, which is exactly what I needed. And for me, because of my religious background, I enter into that new world to find God in deeper and more profound ways.

That's why I said the suffering is worth more than gold. Isn't it obvious? If any human being gets closer to their Maker, that has to be more valuable than earthly treasures. Jesus put it this way "For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?"

I listened to guy on the internet last night (not a Christian) and he was telling his story with cancer. At one point in the hospital a man with cancer across the room asked him "do you know what my greatest wish is?" The other guy said no, how should i? Then he told him "to die in peace."

I already have peace with God, but since my life as largely been a charade before God, I'm excited to discover Him in a more real way. You don't find that when life is going along swimmingly. God isn't that important to you. At best He's an "add on" of some kind. And that's a place in the heart He will not settle for in anyone.
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Old 10-19-2017, 09:08 AM   #893
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I'm so glad you all are still here and haven't given up! I, too, would like to be a day 1-er with you again. I just don't have the same motivation I had in the early 2000's. I know when I am away for a long period of time, I'm shunning accountability.

Thanks for still be here to encourage me. We can do this!!!
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Old 10-19-2017, 08:01 PM   #894
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I'm so glad you all are still here and haven't given up! I, too, would like to be a day 1-er with you again. I just don't have the same motivation I had in the early 2000's. I know when I am away for a long period of time, I'm shunning accountability.

Thanks for still be here to encourage me. We can do this!!!
Wow, someone new...or a long ago participant!!! Can you believe it Kris?
Welcome back MSNLA

Yes please, start a day 1-er with us. Tomorrow i'm a day 8-er. So MSNLA remind us of your story. And why do you think it is that you have lost some motivation?

Oh and a correction from my last post. I was going too far by saying those with a "swimmingly" nice life aren't going deep with God. Who am I to judge? Sometimes I talk like I know things, when I really don't Sorry.

Tonight I am so hyper. Hardly had any calories all day, even as Turmeric, Ginger, and Wheat-grass powders, etc, etc....take away my appetite when it's all I'm eating till my veggie dinner with a little organic chicken on it.
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Old 10-20-2017, 06:48 AM   #895
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Where's PAC? I miss her. Hope she's ok. Hope she's not mad at me.

Hi Kris Day 8 begins. Yesterday I received a bottle of Natura 701, which along with China's most celebrated doctor, was developed by a rocket scientist.
I can't remember his name, but he himself overcame a bone sarcoma, osteo sarcoma and survived for a few decades before he died in a car accident.

I took a bunch of it yesterday. Maybe that's why I was hyper at dinner time. i'm taking so many things, it will always be hard to know what's working if anything.

Do I miss the beer? Not yet. I'm liking being forced to not have it. Yeah. You'd think it would be terrible to be forced to do anything, but it can be liberating at the same time with the right mental attitude.

Thank the Lord I did not sneeze yesterday!! I still can't cough hard, but haven't needed to either. You know, at times we swallow wrong and cough real hard to get it out of our wind pipe. Whatever happened last Saturday with that coffee enema, is still around.

But I'm better, just can't cough or sneeeze. Tomorrow I plan to try another coffee enema, to see if it might finish what the last one started. Maybe I have stones that need to pass.
I'm drinking lots of lemon juice (fresh) and I take Chanka Piedra to help as well.

Or maybe I have liver cancer or bile duct cancer. It would almost seem like a blessing to get another cancer that takes me out of the world before I get cut up by surgery, trying to stick around longer.

Life here on earth has it's limits doesn't it? Even super wealthy people have to stay within limits. Just because your rich doesn't mean you can eat unlimited lobster for dinner. At some point you have to stop and if you don't you will get sick and not want lobster anymore.

The celebrities have more money than they know what to do with, yet so many end up in rehab. Just because your rich doesn't mean you get away with too much great alcohol.

Even my beloved Santa Barbara county area finally became old hat to me. I was so mesmerized by the beauty there. The vineyards, the oaks on rolling hills of green or golden grass, depending on the seasons. Horse pastures with beautiful race horses grazing in the sun. It all got worn out thru repetition. The law of diminishing returns.

Why do want to stick around so long? Is it really all that great? We marry Mr. or Mrs Wonderful, only to find ourselves struggling at times to love them anymore.

We find ourselves at the ER at 11:00 at night, either being the patient or waiting with one. We look around at all the people waiting to see a doctor. We can't wait to get home.

What am I trying to say? I guess at 62 years of age, I feel like it's been plenty of time here. The only thing different about the coming year from previous years will be the suffering I must pass thru. And because of my beliefs about the after life, the suffering is a doorway into a new world that culminates in seeing the face of God.

I'm very happy right now to have time to prepare to meet my Maker. So many die instantly of a massive heart attack or stroke. No time to prepare. A head on car accident. Gone in a flash.

Let's say you're going to meet a very, very important person. You've been invited. You have accepted. You will meet them. You are super excited. You have picked out your dress. You are losing weight to fit into it.

Then one day when you're all sweaty and your hair is a mess and you're still not ready to wear that dress, the important person arrives in a Limousine to take you to his mansion. You're going, but you're not ready.

So when I speak of preparing, it isn't preparing to qualify yourself. You're preparing so you don't arrive red-faced.

In one story a man invited guests to a wedding. He sent out white garments ahead of time so each person invited would be properly clothed. One guest decided to wear her own garment instead. The Master saw her and asked her why she wore that one instead. Then promptly had her removed and cast into outer darkness where there was weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Well friends, you can see this cancer is causing me to think in different categories and I find it refreshing. I was getting tired of being healthy and
wasting my time. Isn't that strange? I don't envy those who live at ease until the day their heart gives out and they fly away. Unless....they have prepared ahead of time.
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Old 10-20-2017, 05:06 PM   #896
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checking in Not much new.

back MSNLA! Yes please refresh us on your story. It is nice to have an old friend back.

I see GB that you really are thinking deep into a lot of things now. I guess having all the time on your hands without the enjoyment of beer lends you time to do that. What would I do with my time if I HAD to quit??? Occassionally I give up alcohol for 3 weeks or a month. I am glad to hear that so far you are not missing it too much. Sometimes we want to be 'forced' to do something that we know we should do, but can't do without the forced part. I hate what you are going thru right now but am sure glad that you are hopeful and handling it as well as you are. We can't give up hope.

My heavy drinking buddies are gone to Arizona for a little bit and I have not had alcohol for a few days but I still haven't eaten as clean as I could have. Just ate lunch today and no dinner but it was too big of a lunch I've been to the store and now have some lettuce and healthier things on hand so hopeful.......

Yes PAC We all miss you. Hope you are doing well
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Old 10-20-2017, 05:45 PM   #897
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checking in Not much new.

back MSNLA! Yes please refresh us on your story. It is nice to have an old friend back.

I see GB that you really are thinking deep into a lot of things now. I guess having all the time on your hands without the enjoyment of beer lends you time to do that. What would I do with my time if I HAD to quit??? Occassionally I give up alcohol for 3 weeks or a month. I am glad to hear that so far you are not missing it too much. Sometimes we want to be 'forced' to do something that we know we should do, but can't do without the forced part. I hate what you are going thru right now but am sure glad that you are hopeful and handling it as well as you are. We can't give up hope.

My heavy drinking buddies are gone to Arizona for a little bit and I have not had alcohol for a few days but I still haven't eaten as clean as I could have. Just ate lunch today and no dinner but it was too big of a lunch I've been to the store and now have some lettuce and healthier things on hand so hopeful.......

Yes PAC We all miss you. Hope you are doing well
I wish you could swallow yucky stuff like Turmeric powder and ginger powder. Because these yucky powders (mixed in with water) (Actually Wheatgrass is pretty bland) but if you could learn to drink down stuff like that, it would totally curb your appetite.

Unless you're nothing like me I simply stay full all day on powders and sups. You could make a fruit smoothie is if has to taste good. Sweeten it with stevia.

Staying away from a big lunch can be easy. Have your eggs and bacon with coffee for breakfast. Then roll along on grass powders or a fruit smoothie without fruits like a banana.

Eat watermelon all day. There's ton of cheap tricks to nourish, cleanse, reduce inflammation in the body and not be eating big lunches or big dinners, unless it's mostly veggies.

Try it for a week. See if you don't get on a roll.
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Old 10-20-2017, 05:49 PM   #898
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoBahnsen View Post
I wish you could swallow yucky stuff like Turmeric powder and ginger powder. Because these yucky powders (mixed in with water) (Actually Wheatgrass is pretty bland) but if you could learn to drink down stuff like that, it would totally curb your appetite.

Unless you're nothing like me I simply stay full all day on powders and sups. You could make a fruit smoothie is if has to taste good. Sweeten it with stevia.

Staying away from a big lunch can be easy. Have your eggs and bacon with coffee for breakfast. Then roll along on grass powders or a fruit smoothie without fruits like a banana.

Eat watermelon all day. There's ton of cheap tricks to nourish, cleanse, reduce inflammation in the body and not be eating big lunches or big dinners, unless it's mostly veggies.

Try it for a week. See if you don't get on a roll.
so are the turmeric & ginger powders appetite suppressants? What else are they supposed to do for you?? What is grass powder? any THC in it?? I might be able to do those things?? Wasn't really that hungry when I ate all the crap for lunch - but it was a big buffett and I kept tasting every little thing till I was all bloated up on everything. DUH
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Old 10-20-2017, 08:56 PM   #899
GoBahnsen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by schaferk View Post
so are the turmeric & ginger powders appetite suppressants? What else are they supposed to do for you?? What is grass powder? any THC in it?? I might be able to do those things?? Wasn't really that hungry when I ate all the crap for lunch - but it was a big buffett and I kept tasting every little thing till I was all bloated up on everything. DUH
I don't know if they are appetite suppressors, but they work for me.

and I'm not talking about turmeric and ginger in your spice cabinet. I'm talking about ordering some organic powder off the net. Like a pound of it.

Just google the health benefits. It's extensive. Great for prevention and treating of cancer. I have been using them all along, but not consistently and they had to compete with beer.

So I was basically totally sabotaging my efforts. Trying to kid myself that both were possible at the same time.

Grass powder, like Wheaat grass, barley grass, etc. No THC. Just dense nutrition. Super foods stuff.

I'm so happy you might try it.
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Old 10-21-2017, 05:02 AM   #900
schaferk
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You know me and supps. I don't know. I don't even like to take excedrin. But I am also open minded. If someone I trust says something has worked for them then maybe I'll give it a try. It just all confuses me very much because so many companies stretch the truth about what their product can/will do and I've tried SO MANY weight loss/appetite suppressants that DID NOT work and wasted tons of money doing so. Hard for me to think something will help me. My problem is mostly in my head - I absolutely know what I can eat to look and feel good and have honestly and entire desk of LC recipes that are fabulous but I just don't do it. I don't understand myself - why am I so diligent about running/walking (for exercise/bone health, heart health) but yet not disciplined at eating correctly or giving up crappy empty food with no value and alcohol. What goes on in my brain Gotta fix this thinking.
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